A preschooler’s wet bed is more common than you think.  

Are you dreading your preschooler’s first sleepover invite, because he still wears a nappy?  Take heart. Bedwetting is so common that there are probably other kids in your child’s class who bedwet and whose parents keep it a secret too.  Here are expert answers to the questions you may be too embarrassed to ask.

Is it normal that my 5-year-old still wets the bed?

Bedwetting is a condition that shouldn’t set off alarm bells, but many parents are naturally concerned if their child still wets the bed past the age of 3. Most cases of bedwetting are attributed to physical causes—the child’s bladder control mechanism simply just isn’t mature enough.  According to Dr, Spock, only 2 to 3% of children still wet their beds at 12 years of age. Spock says that, as long as your child is growing well physically and psychologically without any other symptoms, gaining night-time bladder control will gradually happen in time.

Why does bedwetting actually happen?

Genetics can play a part in bedwetting. In Toddler Taming, Dr Christopher Green says that: “Delay in bladder training at night seems to have an extremely strong genetic relationship. Some studies show almost 70% of bed-wetters have a parent or a sibling with a similar problem.” It also seems to affect boys more than girls. Other reasons are that your child’s brain isn’t getting consistent messages to ‘get up and go to the bathroom’ once their bladder is full.  Another reason could be deep sleeping pattern—your child sleeps so soundly that his brain doesn’t respond to the bladder’s messages.

When does a child achieve bladder control?

Children achieve bladder control at different ages. By the age of 6 years, most children no longer wet the bed. However, bedwetting up to the age of 6 is not unusual, even though it may be frustrating, not to mention expensive, for parents.

What effect does bedwetting have on the child?

When kids hit the 7 to 8 year old mark, those who continue to wet their beds feel embarrassed and guilty about their condition.  These children may withdraw from social activities and suffer from a low self-image.  It doesn’t help if they are often criticized by frustrated parents. Dr. Spock says, “Since avoiding or lessening shame and self-doubt is important … both mother and father should look for opportunities to build lasting self-esteem in the child…[and] maintain an interest in their child’s attempts to remain dry, expressing pleasure when success occurs and encouragement when he fails.” 

Help your child with these strategies:

• Ditch the diapers.  The nappies on the market work a little too well and don’t allow your child to feel the discomfort of being wet.  Let your child wear regular undies.
• Establish a pattern.  Make sure your child has a consistent bedtime and that you limit his liquid intake at least 2 hours before bed.  
• Make sure he relieves himself before going to bed, even if he doesn’t feel the need to.
• Bedwetting or moisture alarms are now available.   The alarm wakes the child up once it senses wetness, so he can rush to the bathroom and relieve himself.  This conditions the brain to respond during sleep to messages from the bladder.
• Try night-conditioning—consistently get your child up at night to use the bathroom.  Be patient, and try to find a good hour when he responds best to being awakened.
• Dr T Brazelton, author of Toilet Training the Brazelton Way and Clinical Professor of Paediatrics Emeritus at Harvard Medical School, suggests trying to adopt a team approach with your child’s school and coordinate efforts and strategies. 
  

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