The importance of little friends.

We all need friends — they enrich our lives, they make us laugh, they’re part of our good memories and we look forward to the future because they’ll be around. Toddlers and preschoolers also need their lives to be touched by friends. And not just for fun and acting silly together! Friendships are young children’s first foray into social interactions that are rich in learning opportunities.

Mary Lynch, a child and family development specialist in Florida explains, “Every interaction, wether the children are meeting for the first time or the friends are playing a taking-turns game offers an opportunity for social learning.”

One example, toddlers who don’t show an interest in toilet training until they see their friends mastering the task. Another example: A friend of mine had a toddler who refused to feed himself. He loved hanging out with my son, who was about the same age as him and who was already self-feeding. So we let them eat dinner together… and voila, my friend’s son tried eating on his own in their next dinner playdate!

Experts also say it is important for a child’s social learning to experience initiating play, maintaining interactions and cultivating friendships without mom or dad’s interference.

But parents do play a major role in giving kids the opportunity to build their own friendships. When they start preschool, pay attention the the names you often hear. Which schoolmates do they often mention? Whoever it is, that’s a clue this child has sparked an interest in your preschooler. If in case your child doesn’t mention any names, just ask: Who did you play with today? or Who do you want come over here to play?

If your child takes to a certain schoolmate, extend the opportunity to develop their friendship outside school. Get to know the new friend’s parents and see if they’re open to setting up a play date. Same with kids your child may gravitate to in  your neighborhood or the nearby park. Encourage those budding alliances.

To me, EQ (the Emotional Quotient) is more important than IQ. The people who know how to get along well with others are the ones who lead happier lives. And so I encourage my own kids to hang out in the playground and have after school play dates with their favorite classmates. I believe that can do tremendous things for their social and emotional growth.

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