Mommy, Im scared!

Some nights the past week this scenario plays out: I am bathing my 5-year-old before bedtime, then all of a sudden he erupts with tears and loud crying. He didn’t bump his head, there’s no blood anywhere. No loud, sudden explosions outside. I didn’t accidentally poke his eye either, but by the sound of him you might think I did.

His explanation for the sudden outburst is, “I don’t want to sleep. I’m scared of bad dreams!” And so we enter the realm of childhood fears.

I did my best to rationalize his overactive imagination. Then I promised him that my Magic Sweet Dreams Kiss on the head can keep bad dreams away. It helped. But the fears cropped up again another night. Then another. This made me do some research. Read more for what I’ve gathered when it comes to handling your child’s fears.

Vicki Kelley, a child life specialist at Children’s Medical Center of Dallas explains, “toddlers and preschoolers start remembering their nightmares or dreams, and because of their developmental age, they may have a hard time separating reality from their dreams.”

Childhood fears are a normal part of growing up. You can probably still remember being afraid of the bogey man. Some of the most common fears among the preschool set include:

• bad dreams,
• monsters – under the bed, in the closet, etc.,
• storms, thunder and lightning,
• snakes, dogs or other unfamiliar animals.

Being afraid of the dark is another typical fear among young children. At this stage, common fears often stem from anxiety over being separated from mommy or daddy. When they’re in the dark they don’t see mom or dad. When they’re off to bed, there’s no sure way to take their parents to dreamland. According to Bradley child specialist Jay Reeve, PhD, “night time is a time of uncertainty for children because it is the only time they are entirely alone.”

Coinciding with this, is a child’s growing imagination. In our house, the bogeyman of scary dreams shows up in my son’s head as he anticipates bed time. If you have a young child at home, chances are you will also have to help face similar fears. Here are some ways you can do that:

• Acknowledge your child’s fear, without making fun of it. The fear may be fantastical to you, but it is a real fear for him.
• Do not abandon an upset child, no matter how “ridiculous” the fear may seem. On the other hand, be careful not to baby them over the fear. No need to show pity. Just talk to them calmly and patiently.
• Rationalize the fear and talk them through it. For instance, explain that movie monster was not real. Shine a flashlight under his bed to show him there’s no monster down there.
• Sometimes you can take advantage of their active imagination to assuage fears. Some parents use “monster spray” to disinfect a room from scary creatures. At our home, mommy’s Sweet Dreams Kiss works to get an anxious boy to sleep. Little sister gets one too for her extra protection.

Let your child know you are confident they can overcome their fears – even if it takes time and self processing to accomplish. Kids are a work in progress. Handling their fears is a great way for them to develop coping skills.

Do note that in some cases, fears can persist to the point of becoming debilitating. If you find your child’s fearful behavior turning extreme – severely affecting home life, play and school – then you should discuss this with your pediatrician.

Leave a Reply