Cleaning up toilet humor.

My daughter is near her fourth birthday and lately, anything that you attach the word poop to is funny. On my last birthday she greeted me, happy poop-day mama! Followed by giggling and a look on her face that seemed to say, I am just so funny! A week ago, she made her brother take a picture of her bare butt. Again, this was supposed to be a riot. Oh and yes, butt is a hilarious word to her.

As I recall, her brother also went through the potty humor phase when he was around age 3. Back then there was a lot of brown Play-do shaped as poop that he would place randomly around the house. We were supposed to find it funny when we accidentally step on it.

What is it about potty talk that fascinates and amuses kids? Starting around age 3 or 4, talk of body parts, products, and functions increasingly fill their conversations. Should we laugh along with them, ignore or set limits? Read more for the answers.

Preschool children are at the stage when they are naturally curious about how their bodies work and the differences between boys and girls. Why do some of us have a penis while others have a vagina? These are questions in their minds as, more and more, they are trying to make sense of their world.

These wily kids are also quick to realize that saying body parts or talking about poo elicits strong reactions from adults — laughter, anger or embarrassment. This adds an extra thrill for them to say such things. Maybe when you take them to the potty you even crinkle your nose at the poo poo? In preschool the silliness escalates as they discover how their classmates are also into poop jokes and songs and the teasing about body parts.

Experts say, the best thing to do is not overreact. Dr. Timothy Jay psychologist and author of What To Do When Your Kids Talk Dirty explains, “If you get upset or if you punish your child, you’ve told him the emotional value of the word — to you it’s a ‘bad’ word.” If you act shocked or laugh the child may just continue or even use more potty humor. Downplay it, and eventually the novelty will wear off.

We should set limits. We set rules about bedtime, television, and safety. So establish guidelines about bathroom talk as well. Here are a few examples of how to explain to your child what’s appropriate and what’s not:

• It’s okay to tell Mommy or Daddy something private about your body, but it’s not okay to shout it out on the street.
• It’s okay if you’re wondering about the differences between boys and girls, but it’s not okay to ask people you just met or your dance teacher to explain these things.
• Since we’re not at the potty — we’re here in a restaurant — you don’t need to use potty words. Bathroom talk is for the bathroom only.

With guidelines like these, you’re not only setting limits, you’re also teaching your child an essential lesson about context. That there are appropriate times and places for different behaviors.

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