Kids and Comfort Objects
When your child is too in love with Lovey.
You will always see my friend’s 2-year-old son wearing his favorite tennis wristband. It’s tattered, looks odd and could use a washing. Goodwill won’t take it, but to him it’s as precious as a crown jewel.
To some kids, it could be an old tattered blanket, a doll or stuffed animal. It comes in many forms, but they serve one purpose – to provide your child with much-needed comfort during the emotionally tumultuous toddler years. Experts tell us, strong attachment to a lovey is a healthy part of a toddler’s emotional development. Still, it can cause parents some grief.
Read more and find out how to deal with all those complications lovey can cause you.
My daughter’s bunny is so ratty, dirty and old. How do I make her quit the lovey habit?
Don’t rush her to quit lovey just yet. Comfort objects help children deal with strangers, handle their emotions and even enhance learning. If you force her to ditch lovey too soon, you miss out on all its benefits and you’re bound to make her want lovey even more. Children typically begin to move on from their comfort objects between the ages of 3 and 5. This is when they are better able to manage their emotions or when they start being conscious about what preschool classmates will think about them holding on to it when in school. For now, let her find comfort in her first “best friend.” One day you will look back in amusement that your child went through this adorable toddler ritual.
I’m trying to convince my toddler to leave lovey at home when we go out. She won’t have it!
When children leave home, they step out of their comfort zone – and this is when they would need lovey the most. But you are right in trying to limit its use in situations that you may end up losing it. So… negotiate. Tell your child, lovey can come along, but it will have to stay in the car and not go inside the restaurant. Try it. Most toddlers can be reasoned with this way, as long as you are consistent with the rules. If you agree to let her tote it everywhere, you will be setting a precedent that will be very hard to break.
My daughter lost her special bear. Help!
If possible, get the exact replica right away. While you’re at it, get some spares. Wash them all and switch them out regularly so each has the same worn look, feel and smell your child loves. If this isn’t possible, get ready for some sleepless nights and tantrum-prone days while your child learns to accept the loss. Commiserate. It is a major deal to them! Offer to get her a new bear-friend and let her pick one out in the store.
Why doesn’t my child have a comfort object? Should I force her to have one?
Comfort objects can be good for any child, but if they don’t have one, that’s fine too. Your child has probably found another way of soothing himself. It could be sucking his thumb, twirling his hair or rocking back and forth when agitated. Such comfort mechanisms work just as well. Be glad you don’t have to deal with lugging around a tattered blankie or shabby bear wherever you go.


