Is daddy doing his share of duties?

Dad’s these days are doing more parenting than ever before. Sure, we see more of them in the ball games and even I have noticed more dads in school for pick-up duty and parent-teacher conferences. But research shows, moms still do more in the parenting department, even if more of us have joined the workforce.

At our own home, I have to give credit to my husband as he does show up more than those typical dads-of-yore who left everything to the wife and mother. But the gap remains. Does he know when my kids’ next parent teacher conferences are? Who needs new soccer shoes? Where do you get the right pair for a good price? What fever medicine works best for our son? What triggers our daughter’s skin asthma?

I’m sure many other dads can deftly answer all such questions. There are more fathers today who take on the bulk of household and childcare duties so mom can focus on her work.

But as the research says — and my own experience shows — mom still trumps dad when it comes to the nurturing stuff. And so we continue to strive for bridging that gap. This isn’t just about keeping score on a chore sheet either. I strive for equal co-parenting so our kids feel the strong presence of both parents in their lives.

We worked out who’s doing what, with a clearer picture of what’s involved. Some things he’s in charge of. Other things I’m on top of. When it comes to school for instance, my husband is in charge of all things math-related, while I take care of all thing literacy-related.

Now I won’t say things have been skewed because my husband lacks initiative. I also have some owning up to do. My tendency to take-over everything child-related may have made him feel inadequate in that department. And so… I am letting him do things his way in the areas he’s in charge of — no more rolling my eyes or jumping in to take over. He is successful at a job that requires major brain skills so I can trust him to cook breakfast for the kids when he has to or decide where to get sports gear for my son!

Remember the movie Kramer vs. Kramer? Dustin Hoffman’s Mr. Kramer never learned to cook french toast until he was left alone to do it himself.

Not to say they’d only learn if we divorce them, but efficient, take-charge mommies… if we’re going to divvy things up more equally let’s hand the eggs and the pan to our husbands when we need to. Allow them their mistakes and eventually they will learn. Mommy doesn’t always have to know more than daddy.

Did I tell you that my kids like their dad’s scrambled eggs better than mine?

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