Oh no… can we really handle another one?

My second daughter came to us sooner than expected. My son had not even reached his second birthday… and surprise! …we were pregnant again. Maybe the hormones were also to blame, but while the “good news” made my husband ecstatic it made me cry and panic. Apparently, my reaction is not unusual. If you’re feeling overwhelmed about that new baby on the way, I offer some comforting words.

True, taking care of two versus one is more complicated. There’s a transition phase that will entail some struggle and a few mistakes here and there. But that transition phase will eventually pass.

It hit me the moment I saw my son playing with his sister and her finding joy in being with her big brother. Eventually, I realized I was no longer at my son’s beck and call for entertainment. Now they have their own games and language that mom and dad are not part of… and it melts my heart when I see them relishing each other’s company.

There are fights of course. But what’s great about that is, I let them settle things on their own as much as possible. In the end, they’re better at dealing with other people in general.

Another upside of adding to your family: You’re an expert now, and you can kiss all that constant questioning good-bye. You’ve already raised one baby so you know what’s coming with sleep, feeding, and setting limits. In my experience, nursing the second time around was so much easier.

Transition Smoothly

With two kids you will definitely need to streamline your life. Set a systematic schedule for chores, shopping and errands. I really can’t imagine how a laissez faire approach can work.

When it comes to kids, you’ll find that setting and sticking to routines is key. As soon as you can, get your new baby on a regular nap and bedtime schedule; everyone will be in a better mood. Eventually, both kids will go to bed around the same time and eat regular meals together, which will make your life a lot easier.

A few more important tips:

Spend one-on-one time with each child. Set aside time for just hanging out with one kid at a time. This was especially helpful with my older son. He hardly felt like his sister was taking his mom away from him.

Indulge in date night. One night a week mom and dad deserve to spend some time together without the kids. It’s good for your marriage and sanity. You’ll take better care of your kids if you’re happy.

I laugh at myself now recalling those panic-stricken tear-filled days when I was surprised to find out baby number two was on it’s way. Today I consider my baby girl to be the best surprise ever.

Leave a Reply