So how do I wash his mouth?

When my son was in nursery school, his teacher shared an anecdote. They had this game they played with the kids where, before entering the classroom, each child had to listen to a word teacher gives, then think up of a rhyming word before they would be let inside. One time they had given my son the word “truck”… to which he replied “_ _ ck!” And his reply was not “duck” or “suck”, mind you.

I was aghast, but his teacher was much more calm about what he said. Her explanation as to why we shouldn’t make a big deal about it, was my first lesson on how to handle a toddler that starts saying bad words.

My son’s teacher simply let him inside the classroom – as it was a rhyming word – and hoped he would not repeat the word again. Before you think that’s being negligent, consider her explanation.

Ignore the first incident. It’s possible that your child has no idea that he has said an inappropriate word and may simply be repeating a new word much as he would any other new word. Paying no attention to the word can help it disappear from his vocabulary. In my son’s case it did.

But it’s also possible that as they learn the power of language, some toddlers use words they know are naughty to get some attention. If your child blurts out words that would shock a truck driver, consider doing the following:

Don’t laugh. It may seem funny at first to hear such language from the mouth of your sweet babe, but letting him know that only encourages more of the shocking words to come out. Don’t quote your child to another adult for a laugh either, at least not within your child’s hearing.

Don’t overreact. Acting shocked or horrified teaches that the word is powerful, thus giving your child incentive to repeat it. Like my son, most of the time they don’t even know the word is offensive or bad — they’re just repeating something they heard.

Remind your child of the rules. If your child repeats a forbidden word, state firmly, “We don’t use that word in our family” or “words like that can hurt people’s feelings” so hurtful words are not allowed.

Set a good example. If you curse or swear, expect your child to do the same. Modeling appropriate verbal responses to anger helps your child learn socially acceptable language, too. In our case, we also learned that even if we don’t curse in front of our kids… they have ears that can easily pick up what you watch on television or the internet.

My son may not have been watching “The Sopranos” with us, but he sure did pick up that nasty word as he was playing within earshot of Mr. Tony Soprano and his crew! So just be careful.

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