A preschooler’s wet bed is more common than you think.  

Are you dreading your preschooler’s first sleepover invite, because he still wears a nappy?  Take heart. Bedwetting is so common that there are probably other kids in your child’s class who bedwet and whose parents keep it a secret too.  Here are expert answers to the questions you may be too embarrassed to ask.

Is it normal that my 5-year-old still wets the bed?

Bedwetting is a condition that shouldn’t set off alarm bells, but many parents are naturally concerned if their child still wets the bed past the age of 3. Most cases of bedwetting are attributed to physical causes—the child’s bladder control mechanism simply just isn’t mature enough.  According to Dr, Spock, only 2 to 3% of children still wet their beds at 12 years of age. Spock says that, as long as your child is growing well physically and psychologically without any other symptoms, gaining night-time bladder control will gradually happen in time.

Why does bedwetting actually happen?

Genetics can play a part in bedwetting. In Toddler Taming, Dr Christopher Green says that: “Delay in bladder training at night seems to have an extremely strong genetic relationship. Some studies show almost 70% of bed-wetters have a parent or a sibling with a similar problem.” It also seems to affect boys more than girls. Other reasons are that your child’s brain isn’t getting consistent messages to ‘get up and go to the bathroom’ once their bladder is full.  Another reason could be deep sleeping pattern—your child sleeps so soundly that his brain doesn’t respond to the bladder’s messages.

When does a child achieve bladder control?

Children achieve bladder control at different ages. By the age of 6 years, most children no longer wet the bed. However, bedwetting up to the age of 6 is not unusual, even though it may be frustrating, not to mention expensive, for parents.

What effect does bedwetting have on the child?

When kids hit the 7 to 8 year old mark, those who continue to wet their beds feel embarrassed and guilty about their condition.  These children may withdraw from social activities and suffer from a low self-image.  It doesn’t help if they are often criticized by frustrated parents. Dr. Spock says, “Since avoiding or lessening shame and self-doubt is important … both mother and father should look for opportunities to build lasting self-esteem in the child…[and] maintain an interest in their child’s attempts to remain dry, expressing pleasure when success occurs and encouragement when he fails.” 

Help your child with these strategies:

• Ditch the diapers.  The nappies on the market work a little too well and don’t allow your child to feel the discomfort of being wet.  Let your child wear regular undies.
• Establish a pattern.  Make sure your child has a consistent bedtime and that you limit his liquid intake at least 2 hours before bed.  
• Make sure he relieves himself before going to bed, even if he doesn’t feel the need to.
• Bedwetting or moisture alarms are now available.   The alarm wakes the child up once it senses wetness, so he can rush to the bathroom and relieve himself.  This conditions the brain to respond during sleep to messages from the bladder.
• Try night-conditioning—consistently get your child up at night to use the bathroom.  Be patient, and try to find a good hour when he responds best to being awakened.
• Dr T Brazelton, author of Toilet Training the Brazelton Way and Clinical Professor of Paediatrics Emeritus at Harvard Medical School, suggests trying to adopt a team approach with your child’s school and coordinate efforts and strategies. 
  

Here’s some food for thought: your baby needs more fat in her diet than you. 

A baby’s dietary needs are different from those of adults, and while low-fat and high-fiber keep you trim, it puts your baby at risk. Some facts:

• Fat is needed in children below age 2 because of their rapid growth and ongoing brain development.  Aside from iron, fat is the most important nutrient for brain development in the first three years of life.
• Fat in the diet is needed to digest fat-soluble vitamins A, D, E, K and to keep baby’s temperature consistent. 
• Until they reach their first birthday, babies’ diets should be composed of 50% fat. Breast milk is the best source of fat for newborns. If an infant is weaned before the age of 1, infant formula is preferred. 
• After their first birthday, children’s diets should be be 35% fat. The AAP recommends full-fat milk and milk foods such as yogurt and cheese, until your child is aged 2. 
• Butter, meat, and  avocado are other good sources of fat. Well-cooked fatty fish such as sardines, salmon and fresh (not canned) tuna are also good sources but may have to wait if baby is allergy-prone. 
• If you have a child who seems chubby before she has started to crawl, remember that she will burn much of her fat once she becomes more active.
• Fat deprivation in the first three years of life actually puts children at risk for malnourishment and specific deficiency syndromes like underdeveloped speech and motor skills.

THESE AMOUNTS OF FOOD WILL GIVE YOU 10 GRAMS OF FAT

Get your toddler to share the load by turning chores into fun.

Divvying up chores in which little ones can participate not only teaches them to appreciate you, but empowers them to feel needed instead of needy. And if no one alerts them to the notion that houswork is drudgery, it won’t be.

For many young kids, cleaning isn’t a chore but an extension of play. You get to sneak it learning life skills too—independence, gross motor movement, precision, frustration tolerance, and the cognitive ability to count, sort, match and classify.

The earlier you get kids involved, the better,” says Tricia K. Neppl, PhD, a researcher at the Institute for Social and Behavioral Research at Iowa State University. “It’s easier at this age, because toddlers are very eager to help and they think chores are fun. Helping Mommy and Daddy makes them feel confident and useful.”

Here are ways to get your child to pitch in and take those first empowered steps towards independence:

Break up tasks into simple steps

Start by giving your little ones easy to follow instructions like:

• After coloring, count your crayons and put them away in this special box or can.
• After playing with your toys, please put them back on this shelf or in the toy box.
• Could you help by wiping your part of the table with this cloth after you eat? 

The simpler the instructions are to follow, the more achievable they’ll be, and the more important your child will feel as a member of the household.

Have the forbearance for lengthy processes

Taking over a task or asking someone else to redo your child’s chores to speed things up could undermine your child’s self-esteem.  “He’ll feel like he’s not good enough or that he’s letting you down,” explains Amy Needham, PhD, associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, in Durham, North Carolina. Resist the temptation by giving your child plenty of time to work at his own pace.

Follow his lead

You’ll most likely get the cooperation you need if you go with your child’s natural inclinations. He likes the dirt of the garden? Get him a watering can and shovel. If he likes the wet of the sink, hand him some rags and a water spray bottle. Others like the soothing enjoyment of repetition (sweeping, slicing, dusting).

Turn the job into a game

Here are some ways to make tasks more exciting for your toddler:

• Sorting colors - Tell your child you’ll pick up all the green and blue toys if she puts away all the yellow and red ones.
• Fun on the Clock - Using a timer, see how many toys you can both put away in three minutes. The person who stashed the most when the timer goes off gets a big hug.
• Match ‘Em - Give children a pile of socks to pair while you fold clothes. You get willing company while you do your own chores.
• Water Play - Kids can give plants and pets water with a watering can and some direction. If they spill, use the chance to let them wipe it up.
• Sous Chef - Toddlers love cooking. They’re too young to do most meal preps, but they can use the salad spinner, put rolls in a basket, or place napkins on the table.

Chore time doesn’t have to be a bore.  If you get your kids started and involved at this age when they think everything is a potentially fun experience while keeping in mind that the path to independence is not especially straight (or tidy), you’ll have a regular Tom Sawyer or Laura Ingalls on your hands sooner or later.

Santa Clara County officials vote to ban toys and other promotions that come with high-calorie children’s meals.

After a contentious meeting between parents and restaurant owners, the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors voted in favor of banning the Happy Meal in Silicon Valley restaurants.

The five-member board in Silicon Valley voted 3 to 2 in favor of prohibiting fast food restaurants from offering prizes and toys if they contained more than 485 calories, 600 mg of sodium or high amounts of sugar and fat.  The decision is meant to pressure small fast food restaurants to big chains like McDonald’s to offer more nutritious menu items for kids. Happy Meals are one of the longest-running and most successful marketing campaigns for McDonald’s.

“This ordinance prevents restaurants from preying on children’s’ love of toys” to sell high-calorie, unhealthful food, said Supervisor Ken Yeager, who sponsored the measure. “This ordinance breaks the link between unhealthy food and prizes.”  It is said that that one quarter of kids in the area are overweight.

In favor of the item were public health administrators, parents and doctors; opposed were fast-food franchisees, other parents, and fans of fast-food toys who argued that the promotions are often used to provide Christmas presents for less fortunate children.

Once the ordinance gets final approval at a meeting in May, the fast-food industry will have 90 days to come up with a voluntary program for improving the nutritional value of children’s meals.

It would be interesting to learn whether such a ban indeed affects sales or pushes fast-food chains to offer grilled chicken sandwiches (instead of a burger or chicken nuggets) Unless the toy ban catches, the vote affects only about a dozen fast food chains under the Board of Supervisors’ jurisdiction.

Get your child ready for that first movie theater experience.

Is your little one ready for the big screen? You may remember your first time in a dark, cavernous theater as a thrilling experience, but for a preschooler, it might be overwhelming, even traumatic.  Much of this first foray into the movie theatre will also depend on your child’s temperament, interests and quirks.

Some 3-year-old children can focus on a movie for an hour or so.  Others may be bothered or fearful of odd-looking cartoon characters. Some may be fascinated by all the strangeness.

If your child can watch a full-length children’s film at home, that’s a good indication that he’s probably ready for the cinema. Before you get tickets, here are a few practicalities:

• Tell your little one what to expect before getting to the theatre – it will be dark, and there will be lots of other people watching with us. With preschoolers, it always helps to set the stage for a new environment.
• Practice at home.  Pop in a favorite film, and turn all the lights off.
• Pick a film with familiar characters.  A film a child can relate to or in which he actually knows the characters helps make the whole movie experience less intimidating.
• A matinee screening is a good choice as it fits in with your child’s post-nap, happy-and-alert time of the day.  Matinee audiences are likely to have kids in tow like you and will be more forgiving if you often have to whisper to your inquisitive child.
• Have their favorite snacks on hand. Popcorn and drinks from the food stand are good choices, but take along his sippy cup and a favorite snack from home just in case.
• Go to the bathroom before the show.  This will help avoid frequent pee breaks, which have the uncanny ability of occurring during the best parts.

Most important, expect the unexpected and take your sense of humor along. You are taking your preschooler for the first time into a movie theatre. To a 3-year-old who has never been there before, the whole experience may be about what it feels like looking at an oversized screen in a dark place filled with strangers. And that could be more interesting than the movie itself!

Children’s food allergies are unpredictable, and misinterpreting them could be deadly. Learn to separate fact from fiction.

MYTH:  Children are allergic to any kind of food that causes a negative reaction.

FACT: Many negative food reactions are unrelated to food allergies and are simply food sensitivities.  True food allergies are not as common as people think and only affect 2% of children. Lactose intolerance, for instance, is different from a milk allergy. Doctors say a milk allergy would have life threatening consequences and those that are allergic to milk would have to skip milk protein all together.  A real food allergy is a reaction of the body’s immune system to a certain component, usually a protein, in a food or ingredient.

Symptoms of food allergies can include watery eyes, wheezing and difficulty breathing, coughing, skin rashes, sneezing, vomiting, diarrhea and swelling around the mouth and throat.  The more severe reaction is anaphylaxis, which involves enlarging of the larynx and a choking sensation that can lead to death. 

The top 4 food allergens for children are peanuts (which are not true nuts but actually legumes from the bean and pea family), tree nuts (walnuts, peacans, cashews etc.), cow’s milk, and eggs (especially egg whites). Peanut allergies may be the most likely to cause life-threatening allergic reactions (anaphylaxis), but a cow’s milk allergy is the most common food allergy in young children. 

MYTH: Children with allergies have them at the onset of birth.

FACT:  While most food allergies begin at the onset of birth or early childhood, they can develop anytime in a person’s life. Interestingly, experts suspect that our society has become “cleaner” and healthier, which may be causing the immune systems in some children to fail in differentiating real threats from harmless invaders, such as food. Some also believe that because immune systems are no longer fighting real threats, they overreact and shift to turn on the body’s own tissues.  

It’s good to note, however,  that many children actually outgrow their food allergies. Some children can outgrow their food allergies if they eliminate them from their diet for two to three years. Approximately 85% of children outgrow their allergy to milk, but fewer will outgrow their allergies to peanuts, tree nuts and shellfish.

MYTH:  Giving your child small amounts of food that he is allergic to helps him build up a resistance to the allergy.

FACT: On the contrary, if your child develops adverse reactions to certain foods, you must try to eliminate them from your child’s diet as soon as possible.  Many children outgrow their food allergies if they completely avoid them for two to three years. If your child has multiple food allergies, eliminate all food he is allergic to, and rotate all other foods every four to five days.  

MYTH:  You can prevent a food allergy.

FACT:  In pediatric allergy circles, this is a subject of much debate. Although women are often advised to avoid certain foods, such as peanuts, when they’re pregnant or breastfeeding, no one can say for sure that if this will lower a child’s risk of allergies. 

What is known is that children who have parents with food allergies are more predisposed to allergies.  There is also general agreement that strictly breastfeeding newborns and only introducing cow’s milk after your child’s first birthday has a protective effect. Breastfed children are less likely to develop eczema (a rash that’s often considered the first sign that a child is allergy-prone).

A hypoallergenic infant formula should be used if your baby needs a milk supplement.  If your child is more predisposed to food allergies, only introduce  solids after the sixth month of life – eggs after your child turns 2 and peanuts (only as smooth as peanut butter) and shellfish when your child is at least 3 years old. Introduce new foods slowly (i.e, every four to five days) so that you can easily identify which foods cause a reaction or allergy.

They may not say it, but they can sign it.  

It’s not too late to teach sign language to your toddler. Many toddlers can’t speak clearly until they are 3 or 4 years old. And those who can speak may not be able to get their tongue around certain words and letters. Signing can fill those language gaps.

Signing also appeals to a toddler’s predominantly visual and physical learning style. Children master hand control before they gain tongue control. Logically then, babies and toddlers will learn hand gestures and signs before they are able to speak the actual words clearly.

As sure as your toddler’s language development is her strong desire to communicate with you right now.  So regardless of whether your toddler is still not talking, babbling or can speak in phrases, sign language will offer many benefits:

Fewer frustrations

Signing offers a specificity that toddlers cannot always manage with the spoken word. The guessing and questioning part is reduced on your end, and tantrums are minimized. With sign language, it does not matter if she’s babbling incoherently, because you will understand the gesturing.

A stronger bond

The earlier communication is nurtured, the earlier a relationship is enriched. Since sign language requires attention, you and your child are forced to be in the moment with each other more often. 

Faster language development

Most people are concerned that signing will delay speech development in a baby. Fortunately, studies have proven the reverse: sign language facilitates speech development, expands vocabulary and improves literacy. This is because parents tend to label items more and repeat the words as they teach the signs.

An intellectual boost

Sign language develops fine and gross motor skills, which are critical for language and cognition. Studies have consistently shown that signing helps improve memory and facilitates creative thinking and meaningful learning in a child. 

So hurry, and give your toddler something to sign about.

Useful words

• Juice – with your pinky finger, draw a letter “J” in the air
• Milk – open and close fists as if you’re milking a cow
• Cracker – knock one elbow with the other fist
• Finished/All done – with both hands open and facing you, shake outwards twice
• Eat/Food – with fingers in one hand touching together, make a sign as if you’re putting food in your mouth
• More – put your fingertips together using both hands
• Share – hold one hand out and use the other to divide it out in sweeping motions
• Play – with both hands in a fist, stick out pinky and thumb and shake it
• Please – move your flat right hand on your chest in clockwise motion
• Sorry – move your closed fist on your chest in clockwise motion with a “sorry” face
• Nice/Clean – move one flat hand over the other, move faster or twice to indicate “clean”
• Want – with both hands open and facing up in front of you, bring your hands toward you
• Go – with your index fingers, point to the direction you want to go
• Thirsty – with your index finger, trace a line going down your throat
• Happy – brush a flat hand over your heart while smiling
• Hurt/Pain – rub the fingertips of your index fingers together with a sad face

Useful phrases

• Outside/outdoors/ to go out – start with your hand open at the side of your face then close it as you move it farther sideways, do twice to mean “outside”
• I love you – stick out your thumb, pinky and index fingers or just cross your arms over your chest then point to the one you ‘love’
• Brush teeth – use the index finger of your right hand to brush your teeth in a side to side horizontal motion
• Thank you – with a flat hand of your dominant hand, start with your fingers near your lips and move your hand forward and a bit down in the direction of the person you are thanking.  Smile. Very similar and sometimes also used as “good”

Get your your little ones on their feet and moving wherever you are.

Getting kids physically active is more important than most  parents realize. Even if your couch potato isn’t tipping the scales, getting him to use his muscles, pump his heart and flex his joints is essential for growth. Sports scientists say active kids become taller adults. They are also happier, more sociable and better-behaved. They even tend to do better in school.

There is also the issue of childhood obesity. According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, obese children are likely to become obese adults. This comes with a higher risk of future health problems including heart disease, diabetes, stroke, cancer and osteoarthritis.

The US CDC advises just an hour or two a day of active movement is good enough for most children.

Starting them young is the best way to create a life-long habit of being active. Keeping an active toddler busy can be a challenge for any parent, especially since most toddlers have more energy than most adults. Have on hand or in mind a few games and activities for those active toddlers. You don’t have to look far:

• If you’re a yogi, show your little one how to do the downward dog or tree pose. If you’re a runner, take them to a track, and let them run alongside you for a warm-up.
• Playing with balls and balloons can help to improve your toddler’s muscle strength and her coordination.
• Hide-and-Seek or Tag are games that toddlers will love, as well. For the active toddler, seeking will probably be a lot more fun than hiding, as it can be difficult to sit still long enough to be found.
• Your toddler might also enjoy sweeping with the broom. While the floor won’t be entirely clean when he is done, he could enjoy the process. 
• If you have a playground in the neighborhood, use it. After dinner, hit the street instead of the remote control. Or make housework a habit for your kids throughout the day – cleaning their room, watering plants, feeding pets, setting the table, tidying up. Add this all up, and you’ll have a child that is routinely, habitually, physically active.
• Sneak in exercise into regular errands like grocery shopping. Let them push their own mini cart. Put them in charge of loading items and placing them on the counter. With all that heavy lifting and walking up and down aisles, they’ve clocked in enough exercise for a day without realizing it.

Encourage your little ones to make physical activities part of their day, and you’ll be creating a healthy pattern that will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Here are the answers to all your pregnancy nutrition worries.

As you go through your pregnancy, no doubt the unsolicited advice from everyone and their mother have put you in a conundrum—for every fact, you will find a contradictory one. We demystify common misconceptions and help you tell apart fact from myth.

Your officemates say: Eat up, you’re eating for two.


Sorry, you need to put back that extra serving of  pudding. The biggest myth is that it is okay to eat more during pregnancy because you are eating for two.  Chef, cookbook author, and food, health and travel writer Catherine Jones and perinatal nutritionist and dietician Rose Ann Hudson, authors of the newly updated book Eating For Pregnancy, stress that you are carefully eating for one, and you should increase calorie intake to 300 calories a day – the equivalent of one cooked chicken breast. Remember that you are eating primarily for you, and just a little bit more for a tiny someone, who at full-term, is small enough to fit in the crook of your arm.

Your Mom says: Forget the salt – you don’t want to swell up.

Normal sodium intake of 2,300 mg daily does not make you swell up, but excessive consumption can cause water retention and swelling, particularly in the ankles. And while a little swelling is normal in pregnancy, swelling combined with high blood pressure can be a symptom of preeclampsia and requires immediate medical attention. Rule of thumb – salt your food to taste. It is still and essential nutrient.

Your best friends say: It’s ok to eat a little less, because your baby will just feed off your fat stores.

Pregnancy is NO time to diet. Adequate calories, vitamins, minerals, fats, and protein ensure healthy fetal development and delivery. Depriving your baby of essential nutrients can result in low-birth weight and other complications. Inadequate protein will force your body to break down tissues (muscle) to feed the baby, and your health will suffer. The only source of protein your baby has is from the food you eat.

Your favorite aunt says: Eat a low-fat diet to keep the extra weight off.

Low-fat diets can be extremely dangerous in pregnancy, because most foods considered “fatty” are good sources of protein, such as eggs, meats and cheese. During pregnancy, it’s important to eat a balanced diet that includes plenty of good fat. For instance, DHA omega-3 fatty acids from fish and supplements form the building blocks of your baby’s brain, particularly during the third trimester. Be sure your diet includes mono- and polyunsaturated fats from plant oils and fish sources.  

Your dear grandmother says: A fish diet will ensure a perfectly healthy baby.

Maybe in your grandma’s time, yes. If only our waters weren’t so polluted today and the resulting mercury content in some fish weren’t toxic to babies.  Methyl mercury, primarily found in large fish (such as tuna, swordfish, tilefish, and king mackerel), can contain high levels of mercury. Smaller fish, like salmon and grouper (lapu-lapu) are all safe to eat during pregnancy. Fish high in omega-3s (such as salmon, sardines, trout, herring, and halibut) are essential for healthy brain development. Bottom line: Don’t eliminate fish from your diet, but make smart choices.

Study explores possibility of Viagra for women. 

New research might be bringing science a bit closer to a female version of Viagra.

In a study that explored the underlying processes of female sexual arousal, British-based researchers say they have learned more about how new treatments might be developed to help women with sexual arousal disorder.

In tests on female lab animals, a team from the drug maker Pfizer found that electrical stimulation of the pelvic nerve increases blood flow to the genitalia. This effect was enhanced if the animals were given an experimental drug called UK-414,495, which is believed to block the breakdown of a chemical messenger that plays a crucial role in increasing blood flow during sexual arousal.

Research suggests that 9 percent to 26 percent of women in the United States suffer from low sex drive, with the numbers varying depending on age and whether they’ve reached menopause.

If ever, the drug would not help all types of FSAD [female sexual arousal disorder], however, as blood flow is only one of many reasons that women experience sexual dysfunction. ”This is the closest thing out there to Viagra for women,” says Sheryl Kingsberg, chief of the division of behavioral medicine at University Hospitals Case Medical Center in Cleveland, “but the problem is that a Viagra-like effect will not solve the majority of sexual dysfunction cases in women.

“In contrast to men in whom erections have played a major role, for women arousal is not the key problem, desire is,” she said.

“Before this work, we knew surprisingly little about the processes that control all of these changes,” lead researcher Chris Wayman said in the news release. “Now [that] we are beginning to establish the pathways involved in sexual arousal, scientists may be able to find ways of helping women who would like to overcome FSAD.”

Women with FSAD find arousal difficult and their genital organs don’t respond to sexual stimulation. The condition affects up to 40 percent of women of all ages, the study authors said.

“While the particular chemical compound studied in this research did not prove appropriate for further development, the implications of the research could lead to the development of a product in future,” Wayman said in the news release.

The study findings were published in the April 13 online edition of the British Journal of Pharmacology.