Loving strokes for a healthy, happy baby.

My children are past baby age, but when they have a stomach ache or they’re coming down with a cough or cold, they ask for their dose of stomach massage or chest and back rubs – depending on where the problem is. And it always makes them feel better.

It all started when they were babies, when we discovered the wonders of infant massage.

I had read about baby touch therapy in a few books and websites that told me about how good it is for calming babies and for forging a good baby-and-mommy bond. Studies also show that massage improves the growth and development of premature infants. Studies have not been made for how it affects growth among full-term babies, but but even they can benefit from the power of touch.

Experts highlight why massage is good for all infants.

• Babies have high needs for touch and physical intimacy. Massage provides this and strengthens the mother and child bond in the process.
• If you are a new mom, massage can help you get used to handling your baby.
• It stimulates the circulatory, digestive and respiratory systems.
• It eases a typical problem among babies – gas pains. I have seen this myself, a few strokes and… relief!
• It can calm or quiet down some fussy babies. Massage is known to encourage deeper sleep.

Massaging your baby is pretty simple and easy to do. You don’t need to be an expert masseuse. No need to worry about wearing yourself out either. Babies are tiny and require just a few minutes of tender touch. Here’s how to do it:

1. A good time to give baby a massage is after a bath. This is when I would do it, but you can determine which is the best time for you. Make sure it’s a time when you are free from all distractions and possible interruptions. All you need is between 5 to 15 minutes.
2. Find a quiet and warm comfortable area. Lay your naked child on a warm towel. I’ve heard some babies do not like being completely bare so leave the pants, shorts or diapers on first. Start with a bare upper body and remove the pants when you get to the lower body.
3. Begin with a gentle head massage. Gently stroke the top of her head then move to the forehead and sides of the face. Continue to stroke down to the neck and shoulders. When you get to the arms, use tender squeezes. Go back to light rubbing in the chest and belly area. On the tummy, make big to smaller circular motions ending right in the middle of the belly. Apply gentle squeezes down her legs, ankles, feet, and toes. Finish with long light strokes all the way down her body from head to toe.
4. While massaging, use light, gentle strokes all throughout. Look at your baby eye to eye and talk to her. Use a gentle voice and smile. You can talk about what you’re doing or tell her about her body parts.

If your baby is willing, you can turn her on her belly and massage her back, again working from head to toe. Don’t force it though if she’s no longer interested. My own kids loved being massaged, but I noticed that sometimes they would only be interested for shorter periods, or would just like the tummy rub or the head rub. Other days they could go with the full front and back massage. My son enjoyed longer sessions more than his sister. It’s a personal thing I suppose. Take your child’s lead, as even just a little touch therapy can go a long way.

Playing with your baby, from birth to 6 months.

Young babies are so dependent on mom and dad, pretty much all they do on their own is sleep, eat, poop and pee. But even at this early stage, you should connect with them and engage them in play.

Play makes babies learn about the world around them, and play is what builds strong connections with you.

So how do you play with a tiny human being that just lays down wherever you put him? We have some suggestions.

Babies develop fast. One day they only go from quiet to crying. The next day, they suddenly discover their hands and feet. Then they start reaching and grasping. Playing with your baby will make you learn a lot about his personality and temperament. If you have had more than one, you know how wonderfully different two children can be.

Infants have different likes and dislikes. They vary in thresholds for physical activity, noise and stimulation. My son enjoyed being rocked as I sat on a rocking chair, while my daughter liked to be bounced while I’d gently bob up-and-down on a core ball.

What do all babies like? You! Babies like it when mom or dad sings and talks to them. They love spending time with people who love them. Here are a few specific activities you can do during those moments of love-at-play:

Peekaboo!

When your baby learns to recognize your face, peekaboo games are always a hit. There is good reason why peekaboo is a classic baby game. There’s nothing more comforting to a baby than his mom or dad’s presence. He loves seeing you smile and make funny faces. When you add the now-you-see-me now-you-don’t dynamic, it takes the fun to a whole different level.

Peekaboo is also their first lesson in object-permanence – that mommy can disappear, but she also comes back.

There are many peekaboo variations. Have fun with it. One kind both my kids really loved was peekaboo under the bed sheets.

Bicycling

While baby is on his back, move his legs back and forth as if he was pedaling a bicycle. The scissors motion is another variation. Move his feet to the beat of a song. Change tempo and rhythm with a variety of tunes, sing it yourself or play your favorite CD. It doesn’t have to be Barney! Expose baby to your favorite music. Tell him “these are your feet and toes.” Show him his legs and get him started on lessons about body parts.

Dance!

Another playtime activity my kids loved when they were young babies was to be carried around while I danced to some child-friendly music. Like I said, it doesn’t have to be saccharine-sweet kids’ tunes that annoy you. Choose something from your own playlist – just avoid heavy rock or x-rated lyrics.

Who knows, you may continue to bond with your child over music even during those crazy teen years…. Happy play time!

Educational videos are not going to make your baby smarter.

A lot of educational DVDs are being marketed to make babies brainier, improve their vocabulary and make them talk early. But a new study affirms what the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has claimed all along – that children under the age of 2 do not benefit from watching television. And this includes educational programs. Educational shows will only start to benefit kids past the age of 3. Only at this stage of a child’s growth, can  he already learn from a television screen. Before that, the screen is probably just like white noise to them.

Before age 3, children can only effectively learn language and concepts about the world around them if it is imparted by a human caregiver. That would be you holding an apple, moving the fruit in front of your toddler and calling it “apple”. At the toddler stage, the voice over a visual on screen just won’t impart what an apple is. Same goes for other learning concepts.

The latest study to support this claim by the AAP was conducted by the Center on Media and Child Health of Harvard Medical School. The study examined data on 872 children and their mothers. In-person visits with both mothers and babies were done right after birth, at 6 months and at 3 years old.

And what did researchers find? “Contrary to marketing claims and some parent’s perception that television viewing is beneficial to children’s brain development, no evidence of such benefit was found, ” says Marie Evans Schmidt, PhD, lead author of the Harvard study.

This is the first study that examined the long-term link between infant TV viewing and both language and visual-motor skills.

A research team from the University of Washington did a study on the link between TV and language development. In this previous study, they tested hundreds of families and found that the more babies and toddlers watched videos – particularly the educational ones – the smaller their vocabularies. Their thinking is, television took time away from real human interaction – the kind of talking and engagement needed for them to learn words at this stage of their development.

This is not to say the content of the programs were harmful. It’s just that TV messages will not register to a baby or toddler – no matter how educational or well-crafted.  The time spent looking at the screen could also have been spent playing and interacting with another person.

After age of 3, Dora, Sesame Street and The Little Einsteins can teach your kids a thing or two about words, letters and numbers. But while they’re younger than that, no one else can enrich their minds like mom and dad, or other engaging caregivers. Playing, talking, reading to them, taking them on trips to the park are the kinds of activities babies can learn from.

There is nothing like a real-life, caring human to be a child’s first tour guide to his new human world! So all that quality time isn’t just good for bonding… it’s great for making smarter babies as well.

Talk to your baby. It’s good for him!

It pays to talk to your baby, even if she’s still in the womb, a few months old, or a toddler. You’ll be laying important groundwork for your emergent communicator. Young talkers tend to have less tantrums since they can express their needs and wants appropriately. Experts also say, a child’s wide vocabulary at age 3 bodes well for future reading aptitude.

Newborns typically respond with attention to their mother’s voice because they have become familiar with it. Nine months in-utero, their mother’s voice is what they would often hear. So if you’re pregnant, talk to you baby, read her a book or sing her some songs. This will benefit future language skills.

Babies from 1-to-12 months need to be engaged with language. Respond to their coos and gurgles as if you were having an actual conversation. Look at them while you’re at it, and respond with reassuring touches whenever you can. Point out objects and things. Describe the scenery while you’re at the park. The conversation may be one-sided for now, but you can be sure they are picking up new words and building a data base of vocabulary.

Of course, you should also give them some quiet time so they can babble on their own and play with their toys. Avoid plopping them in front of the television though. The American Academy of Pediatrics advices NO TV for kids younger than 2 years of age.

Children in this age group will not learn the word “apple” from a TV that flashes the word and picture with a voice over on a screen. In many research studies, it has been proven that a child this young can only learn words spoken to them by an actual human caregiver. It is only after age 3 when shows like Sesame Street can help kids expand their vocabularies.

Playing peek-a-boo, reading simple books and singing songs are wonderful ways to teach your baby language – not to mention good bonding moments. If your 6-to-12-month old starts to make her own sounds, tune in to see if she is actually trying to say something with meaning. Mama and Dada would be some of their first words. Mee could mean milk. Ju could be juice. Respond enthusiastically to their first attempts at talking and you’ll be encouraging language learning.

Between 18 months to 2 years your baby will start to follow simple directions and use a few words strung together. This is a good time to teach them songs. When reading, let her take over once in a while by letting her fill in parts of the story she may already know. Point to pictures in the book and give her a shot at identifying it.

When your baby starts to walk and enters toddler age, get ready for a language explosion! Between 2 to 3 years, language development speeds up at a frenetic pace. Toddlers will be able to string more words together. You’ll hear things like Daddy bye bye or Mommy go work. She can respond to Where is your dolly?

When this age comes, step up on the open-ended questions that don’t require merely yes or no answers. This will help them develop their own ideas. It’s also great practice for self-expression. For instance, after reading The Three Little Pigs you can ask them Why were they so scared of the wolf?

This is also the start of the age of pretend play. Encourage this childhood tendency. Sometimes, try to get into the act yourself – be the patient to her young doctor! Best of all, engage your child and have fun while you’re at it. From baby talk, to babbling… to a future of great conversations at the dinner table!