Because a well-rested child is a happy, healthy child.

A good night’s sleep is crucial for anyone — especially babies, toddlers and preschoolers. If your child sleeps well, he will have better immune function and healthy growth. Did you know that growth hormones are only produced during sleep? That’s what our pediatrician tells us. Sleep affects behavior too. Kids who are sleep-deprived are cranky, impatient, distractible and do poorly in school.

Sticking to a good bedtime routine is key to developing healthy sleep habits. Start them young and be consistent. We’ll tell you how.

Set a bedtime. Wether it’s 7, 8 or 9 PM make sure you stick to it. Children’s body clocks are set by a consistent nightly schedule. Both my children are in bed and sound asleep between 8:30 to 9 PM. We have been on this schedule since they were babies and have made very few exceptions.

It also makes it so much easier for mom and dad in the long run. Since their body clocks are set to this schedule already, they’re automatically on their way to getting their zzz’s at a predictable time. They are also up at a predictable time in the morning — on their own, with no struggle  for us to rouse them up. Definitely helps if you need them on a schedule to get ready for school!

Establish a bedtime ritual. On the run-up to bedtime, a ritual or routine is also key. Children find comfort and security in a pattern of events they’re familiar with — particularly one that sets the tone for a good night’s rest. What elements you put into your family ritual is up to you, just as long as you’re consistent and it’s not too stimulating it will get your kids wired. Daddy, save the rough-housing for earlier! Here are some rituals that help with my kids:

• A Warm Bath — Warming up body temperature slightly is relaxing and great for inducing sleep.
• A Light Snack — For some reason my kids just have to have something to nibble on before their bedtime bath. Apparently, a light snack that has some protein and carbohydrates — for example, a small piece of cheese and one half slice of whole-wheat bread — can induce sleep and helps children stay asleep through the night. The carbohydrates make them sleepy, and the protein keeps blood sugar levels even until breakfast. Be sure to brush their teeth after eating.
• A Good Story — This is a particularly comforting routine for toddlers, especially if it’s a favorite story that’s associated with bedtime, such as Goodnight Moon. As your child grows, he’ll want more stories and more variety.

Don’t forget some bedtime love. Most importantly, kids could use some cuddle-time to end their day. Nothing like the comfort and assurance of mom and dad before going off to dream land. Bedtime bonding is especially important if you’re out the whole day at work. If your child has a lovey or teddy that gives him comfort, let him take it with him to bed. And don’t forget the all-important good night kiss!

Talk to me please!

I ask my 5-year-old son how was school today? Do I get a long answer about his latest science investigation? How about a detailed account of the playground drama for the day? Nope. Apparently, getting your child to talk with you entails refining our communication approach.

Dr. Atilla Ceranoglu is a child psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School and an expert in parent-child communication. She emphasizes how important it is to have satisfying conversations with your child — as soon as your child learns to speak. “Talking to children from early on keeps both child and parent attuned to one another. It is solid preparation for the more stormy, tumultuous days of adolescence,” explains Dr. Ceranoglu.

But have you had exchanges like these with your preschooler?

You: How was school?
Child: Fine.

You: How’s your new teacher?
Child: Okay… Can I watch TV now?

Now before you take those stunted responses personally, examine possible reasons. My son can talk to me at length about many of his interests, but I am particularly frustrated about how he holds-off about his school day.

Then I read the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber. Faber made me realize that all kids need downtime after school. All that learning and playground drama can be exhausting. After a grueling day, you just want to kick off your shoes and relax before getting into a discussion about what happened at work. Sometimes, resting from work entails not talking about it too. The same goes for children – some personality types more than others.

Now I spark better conversations with him about school during dinner when he’s rested — and more receptive. I also ask him specific questions — What did you play in outdoors? Who was in your team? Which work area did you choose for today? What book did teacher read to you? What was it about? Our dinner chats have been more interesting lately.

If we want to our kids to tell us more about how their day was, “how was your day?” is actually the question we should avoid. It just begs for a standard one-word answer like “fine” or “okay.” Remember, kids are not little adults. Dr. Ceranoglu offers more advice on how to talk to our little ones:

Do things with your child. Create opportunities to take part in activities your child loves — swimming, playing board games or just hanging out at the park. If your child is still hesitant to talk, be patient. Dr. Ceranoglu says, “Bear the silence. Even if you were fishing for a good half hour in silence, know that there is a lot more being accomplished than if you were chasing your child in words. You are giving your child the strongest message in the loudest way: You are there and will be there when that silence breaks.”

Instead of questions, throw thoughts. Instead of asking, “Did that hurt your feelings?” try saying, “Wow, that would have hurt my feelings.” That gives your child a chance to respond without being put on the defensive. Also, you’ll get more mileage out of simple listening sounds like “hmm” or “huh,” because they reflect an understanding of the child’s concerns better than questions, Ceranoglu says.

Meet them at their level. Dr. Ceranoglu says this is especially important for toddlers and preschoolers. For younger children, it often helps to kneel down to their height and talk or play with them face-to-face. If your child is frustrated trying to communicate something, help him out by naming and acknowledge his feelings: “That is sad! It was your favorite toy.”

Exploit her interests to get her to read.

Not every kid is an eager reader. Some parents worry when their preschooler can barely even sight read three letter words while seeing kids in the same class who can devour an entire picture book all by themselves in kindergarten. Remember, children develop at various paces. If a child reads early it doesn’t mean she’s a sure shot for being a literary genius. Late bloomers can even surpass them eventually in terms of literacy skills. We have some simple suggestions that can help your reluctant reader.

Consider your child’s interests. My son loves comic books like Geronimo Stilton and the Lego Exo Force series… and that gets him reading. For my daughter, it’s picture books about princesses and fairies. Experts say, comics and light picture books should not be discouraged at all. Laura Bailet PhD heads the Division of Neurology at the Florida Nemours Children’s Clinic, according to her we should not worry that comic book or picture book texts are not substantial enough.

Dr. Bailet says, “They can play important roles in helping kids understand some fundamentals, like how events take place in a sequence and stories are laid out. They also help build vocabulary and show that books can be visually appealing. Once your child becomes comfortable with the experience of reading, you can encourage other literature selections with a variety of challenging content.”

Read it again and again… and again. You may notice if your child finally finds a book she likes, she’ll want it read to her over and over again. That’s a good thing. Repetition allows children to master the text and eventually sail through it with ease and confidence. As Dr. Bailet explains it, “Each new reading of the book may also help them understand it just a little better. That positive experience may inspire them to give new books a try.”

Create interesting reading opportunities. Give your child rewarding chances to read every day. Write notes and leave them on a pillow, in a lunchbox, or in a pocket. Ask friends and relatives to send postcards and letters. Leave magnetic letters and words on the refrigerator, and you may find her spontaneously creating words, sentences, and stories. On road trips or errands, play word games that strengthen language skills. My kids like playing “I Spy” (”I spy something that starts with an ‘a’ …”) or games where you pick a category like “food” and then everyone has to name foods that begin with a certain letter.

If you’re worried, seek help. If you’re concerned about your child’s ability or willingness to read, don’t wait. Consult with your child’s doctor or teacher. If they share your concern, they may be able to suggest resources. A friend was worried about her 5-year-old son who refused to read anything. His kindergarten teachers suggested having him assessed by a developmental pediatrician. At first, the doctor suspected visual dyslexia. Before further tests were done, a simple eye test was given. Her son just had very poor vision and needed corrective glasses.

Whatever is hindering a child’s reading efforts, there is usually a way to deal with it. Observe and act quickly because the sooner a problem is dealt with, the better. Reading is a very important foundation for lifelong learning.

What makes them so sensitive, can also make them do so well.

As a baby, my son couldn’t stand the sound of the vacuum cleaner. A noisy blender would scare him to tears. When he was 2-years-old, I thought all kids loved carousels so I took him for a ride. He hated it. He wailed and begged to get off even if he was on my lap as we were riding a coach. Every strange noise, every new experience was met with trepidation.

My daughter was a bit different. Strange sounds were met more with curiosity than fear, but she was even more clingy than her also-clingy big brother. She was adventurous in the play ground, she made friends, but before getting that way she needed a long warm-up period.

A few years later and my little neurotics are now happy, well-adjusted preschoolers. Though I do notice they are essentially still cautious, still sensitive to everything and everyone around them. Still slow to warm. I had accepted these traits as part of their nature,  although it can make parties and play dates more difficult for me. Little did I know, that such sensitive children may actually have an advantage over their more easy going, gregarious peers. At least that’s what research tells us.

Scientists believe that children who are sensitive or highly reactive to stress may actually thrive better than those who just go with the flow. But — and this is a big but — these sensitive kids only tend to do better in the right environment. If they don’t survive a bad environment growing up, these kids could be your future depressives, drug addicts and social misfits. Flip side is, if they survive, they could reach Oprah-level success.

The journal Child Development published a new study on sensitive children early this year. Observing 338 preschoolers, researchers tested how easily stressed the children got, then measured behavior and school performance.

Among sensitive kids, “harsh and restrictive parenting,” exposure to a lot of anger and fighting, and family financial problems indicated a dip in social skills. The other sensitive kids in happy homes? They fared well. So well that they did much better than their easy-going counterparts. Highly-reactive kids who were well-nurtured had the highest rates of sharing, helping and initiating friendships. They also had the highest academic gains in school.

The calm kids who faced challenges with less stress were more resilient when there was trouble at home. For these children, school and social success was average across the board.

This latest study highlights new terminology being used among developmental psychologists — that some kids are dandelions, some are orchids. Dandelions are hardy and can grow well almost anywhere. Orchids can thrive beautifully, but with the right care.

How would you classify your own child? Let’s think hard about that, so whatever kind of “flower” they may be, we can give them the kind of nurturing they need. My little theroy… all kids are orchids and dandelions in varying ways. They all need good care. Still, with a feeling my kids are orchid varieties, I’d like to be extra sensitive to their needs.

Tell me mommy… I need to know!

Oh, precocious kids with their questions. Remember when we first brought up the sex question and the curiosity about death? Well, preschoolers are making more sense of their world and can set you off the loop with even more tricky questions. Don’t get tongue-tied. We have more tough questions from kids and experts tell us how to answer them.

When my son was two, he asked: “Why is the sky so big?” Hmmm… do I reply with science or do I get into my first existential conversation with him? I settled for a bit of both, but it really got me thinking. When my child throws me a tough question, how specific should I get? How honest should I be? What if I confuse him even more? Suddenly I had more questions than my son.

So, I turned to the pros. Here, child experts give advice us on what — and what not — to say in answer to 3 tough questions kids can ask.

Your 4-year-old asks, Why do they say Uncle John is gay?

Deborah Rothman wrote the book Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent’s Guide to Talking About Sex. She suggests you first clarify what a couple is. Give examples like you and your husband, an aunt and uncle your child knows are married. Explain that couples love each other in a special way. They love each other’s company so much that they live together or get married like mom and dad. Then explain how there are cases when couples are made up of two men or two women. Since Uncle John has a boyfriend, not a girlfriend, then he is gay. In case Uncle John is single, say he prefers that his special someone would be a man like himself, not a woman.

Kids will often take this simple, factual answer. Tell your child that they may hear the word “gay” used negatively and that it is nasty to use the word that way. Use this as a teaching moment to explain tolerance and acceptance of different kinds of people.

Your 5-year-old asks, Why is Jason’s house bigger and nicer than ours?

This question reflects an unintended form of peer pressure and a child’s wish to be more like his friend or for you to be more like his parents. Joe Sibayan, curriculum coordinator of Keys Grade School advises against using statements like “they are richer” or “we are poorer” or “because we can’t afford it.” This can make a child feel even more deprived, maybe even skew his sense of values towards materialism or stir up envy.

Assure your child you have enough resources to care for the family, but emphasize that being rich in love and happiness is more important than material wealth. Here’s how teacher Joe would put it:

“Grown-ups decide to do different things with their money. Jason’s parents decided to spend a lot of money on making their house nice and big. We decided to spend it on other things, like that nice trip we took last year and saving money for your school. How did you feel when you saw Sandro’s house was so big and nice? I hope you felt happy for him, because that’s how we should feel when we see other people have nice things.”

Your 3-year-old asks, Why is f@_k! a bad word?

Emphasize to your child that words in themselves are not bad, but the intention behind saying them can be the problem, says teacher Joe. If your child is reprimanded for blurting out an expletive and asks shy those words are bad, here’s how he would explain it:

You know that you can touch in different ways, right? There’s a touch that’s loving, like when you hug or shake hands. There’s a touch that hurts, like when hands are used to hit someone. It’s the same when you talk. You can talk in a loving way by using gentle words. But there are words that can hurt. Those words you just said are words that hurt others, so we choose not to say them.”

Why cuddle time is more important than you realize

Babies learn through their sensory explorations. Daddy’s scratchy beard, mommy’s smooth skin and the voices of new strangers all give him a better understanding of how the world works. It’s all pretty good for his brain development too. We explain how those senses develop as your baby grows.

Touch

Babies need to be cuddled. Touch soothes your baby, and it shows him your love. Scientists have proven it can also boost natural immunity. Research shows that babies who are held often don’t get sick as much and are less fussy. Preemies who are massaged grow and develop faster than babies who aren’t. It’s natural for your newborn to prefer soft touches, like a gentle caress or the feel of soft cotton. You’ll notice that baby bristles at a rough touch or a scratchy, coarse fabric.

Taste

The human palate starts developing in the womb. Your pregnancy diet does influence your baby’s taste for food. Flavors are transmitted to the fetus through amniotic fluid. If you are breast feeding, what you eat also determines the taste of your breast milk. Recent studies show that the foods baby was exposed to during pregnancy or nursing are the ones he tends to like.

Hearing

Baby’s hearing is well developed at birth, but he prefers high-pitched voices because he hears them best. Baby talk is music to his ears which is why we seem to instinctively change our voices into that sing-song delivery. Over the first year your child’s hearing will sharpen and he’ll learn to track sounds. For the first three months, he’ll only turn toward a sound that’s in front of him, but by 6 to 12 months he’ll look toward a noise coming from behind him or from across the room.

Smell

That little nose is already in full working order at birth. He knows your scent well from the time he spent in the womb. Newborns can even tell the difference between their mother’s breast pads and those of another nursing mom by scent. Babies tend to like sweet smells like the fragrance of vanilla or lemon. Newborns naturally dislike foul odors, like the smell of rotten eggs. Just like they’re averse to bitter or sour tastes — probably an instinct to avoid dangerous foods.

Sight

At first, a baby’s eyes don’t work 100 percent. Studies indicate newborns see two of everything. They  focus best on objects 8 to 12 inches in front of them. Images closer or farther away are blurry. 8-12 inches is about the distance to your face when you’re feeding him, so it’s no wonder that he loves looking at you. Newborns prefer the human face in general. They’re especially drawn to the outline of the face or the hairline, which is easy to see because of the contrast. They can distinguish light from dark but can’t quite see color until about 4 months. Try getting baby’s attention with high-contrast patterns (like a checkerboard or stripes) and black-and-white or boldly colored toys. At 4 months he’ll begin to use his eyes to coordinate his hand movements, making reaching and grabbing easier.

Parents can cultivate excellence, no matter what genetic blueprint.

Many parents ask themselves at one point, what can I do for my child to achieve greatness? Author David Shenk dares to answer this loaded question with his new book The Genius in All of Us: Why everything you have been told about genetics, talent and IQ is wrong. Shenk asserts that genius can be ignited. His book discusses how the nature versus nurture debate has been missing the point all these years. His book shows evidence on how human achievements are the outcome of the nuanced interplay between genes and environment.

If anybody can be a genius, why are there so few Mozarts, Eisnteins or Tiger Woods among us? Citing the latest in human development research, Shenk underscores that genius is nothing without extraordinary dedication and persistence. Yes, we all know that. But there still seems to be a strong belief that people either have it or they don’t, and that’s that.

Just think… all those high achievers we had mentioned, from Mozart to Woods, all had started nurturing their talents young and put in so many hours honing their skills. Einstein has been quoted to say, “It’s not that I’m so smart. It’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

Einstein may have been over-dramatic with that statement. Of course he was very smart. His point is, we tend to forget that he had to work very hard for his achievements.

What this tells me is that as parents we should make an extra effort to cultivate persistence — extraordinary persistence. Apparently, years of research can show us how to cultivate persistence and tenacity. I’d like to see what new science has to say about this so I’m going out to get David Shenk’s book. If you have kids or have a baby on your way, the book could be worth checking out.

The FDA warns food companies to be honest with their marketing claims.

Don’t take that food label as truth. U.S. health regulators have warned units of Nestle and more than a dozen other foodmakers over nutritional claims made for baby food, nuts and other products on food labels and product websites, according to letters made public last week. The warnings came as the U.S. Food and Drug Administration is set to push for new package labeling geared toward making it easier for consumers to understand the nutritional content of the foods they eat.

The FDA plans to soon issue draft guidelines for nutritional labeling, but also plans to work with the food industry to design a new labeling system. FDA Commissioner Margaret Hamburg said last week that the examples cited in the warnings were not indicative of labeling practices in the food industry as a whole.

In one of the warning letters, issued February this year to baby food maker Gerber, a unit of Nestle, the FDA cited issues with Gerber 2nd Foods Carrot and Graduates Fruit Puffs products saying their “labeling includes unauthorized nutrient content claims.”

The foods make claims that they are “Healthy as Fresh,” an “Excellent Source … of Vitamin A” and “No Added Sugar,” according to the FDA letter. “These regulations do not allow the claim for products specifically intended for children under two years of age,” the FDA wrote.

The FDA issued a similar warning to Beech-Nut, a unit of Swiss company Hero Group, the same day. The agency also warned Nestle, Gerber and other companies about similar nutritional claims made on company websites.

Others receiving warning letters include snack food company Diamond Foods Inc – relating to the health claims for the omega-3 fatty acids in the company’s walnuts – and Spectrum Organic Products Inc., a unit of Hain Celestial Group, over labeling for its vegetable shortening.

Nestle’s Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream unit was warned over labeling of certain products. A Nestle spokesman said the company was cooperating with the FDA but does not comment on pending regulatory inquiries.

Hain, Beech-Nut and Diamond have yet to release statements regarding the FDA letters. The letters call for the companies to immediately correct the products’ labeling and respond to the agency within 15 days from the day of the letter.

Creative ways to show them how to play give and take.

That’s mine! Give it to me! No, not for her! If you have a toddler you’ve probably heard those lines often enough. Toddlers are notoriously self-centered. Sharing is something they still need to learn. Developmental experts say, the concept of giving really becomes clear at around age 5. But there are some ways to show younger kids basic rules for give and take, paving the way for a good sharing attitude in the future.

Show Them How

Kids learn best from what they see day-to-day. So let your toddler see you in the act of sharing. If you’re eating a sandwich, offer him a bite. Having your favorite smoothie? Offer a sip. You and your husband should often model the art of give and take as well — whether it’s taking turns choosing what movie to watch or sharing space in the bathroom.

Special Things

Even as adults we have certain possessions we are extra careful with — special books or heirloom dishes we inherited from dear grandma that we don’t loan to friends. Well, allow your toddler to have a few special objects too. Perhaps his tattered lovey bear? Maybe the new princess doll she got for her birthday? Don’t force your child to share a few objects that obviously mean a lot. Do make sure that whatever it is, it should be set aside during a play date. All other toys in the playroom are to share, the special things stay in the closet until the other kids leave.

Bring Out The Timer

I have two kids at home who at one time were toddlers together! My best friend for settling power struggles on who gets to play with the hot toy of the moment? Our kitchen timer. It was great for teaching them the basic rule of taking turns — “you play with it for 10 minutes each, when the timer goes off it’s your sister’s turn.”

Give to Charity

Holidays or birthdays are the perfect time to talk to your children about sharing with others less fortunate. Get them involved in giving to a children’s shelter toy collection or a coat drive where your child can donate some of her own toys or clothes that are no longer in use. Or you can have her pick out a few new toys to buy that will be donated to charity.

Role-Play

If your toddler often says no when asked to share, try a little role reversal. Get down on the floor for some playtime then, when your little one asks for something — the yellow block or a turn banging on the toy drums — say no. When he gets upset, talk to him about how he feels and how he wouldn’t want to make his friends feel the same way. Next time you’re at a playdate and he hesitates to share… remind him of that incident.

Praise the Positive

We spend so much time telling our kids to behave, it’s easy to forget to acknowledge them when they do something right – sharing included. Positively reinforce their good behavior. You see your son share his loot of candy with his sister, tell him: “You made your sister happy by giving her some of your candy. I love seeing you sharing with each other.”

Finally, sharing is also honed by practice… so let your child play with other kids. Time at the playground or play date sessions are rife with learning moments to teach them the nuances of give-and-take.

Help your newborn settle down with swaddling.

The first few weeks outside the comfortable confines of the mother’s womb is unsettling for most newborns. Swaddling, or wrapping your baby snugly in a blanket (like a burrito) can help her transition this period. A good swaddling technique can also be crucial in letting you get a good night’s rest. When baby sleeps well, so do mommy and daddy. Many fussy babies have been calmed down by a good swaddle.

Swaddling keeps babies from being awakened by their own startle reflex. A newborn is not yet used to her own muscle movements so it often jolts her out of sleep.

Both my kids were soothed by swaddling. My daughter liked her arms inside the swaddle cocoon, my son liked his arms set free. Either way is fine, take your baby’s cues. I had used a swaddle blanket for them — the kind with velcro enclosures. There are many swaddle blankets to choose from these days so shop around and read reviews on which ones work best.

However, I did observe that a simple flannel blanket worked very well when my babies were swaddled in the hospital. The plain flannel blanket is still an option for you. You may want to take a swaddling lesson from the nurses who do it so well in the hospital. My friend’s husband became a swaddling pro by doing that. You Tube is also worth visiting to see if there’s a good instructional clip worth bookmarking.

Here we found a good, step-by-step guide to an effective swaddling method:

1. Lay the baby blanket flat on a bed or other safe, flat surface in a diamond shape. Fold the top corner down about 6 inches.
2. Place the baby on her back, so her head is above the fold.
3. Holding your baby’s right arm to her side, pull the left corner across her body and then tuck it under the right side of her back.
4. Pull the bottom corner up over her feet and tuck into the fabric stretched across her chest.
5. Holding your baby’s left arm to her side, bring the last corner across your baby’s body and tuck under the left side.

Now here are a few other tips to take note of:

1. Lightweight flannel baby blankets are great to use because the fibers stick together well.
2. Swaddling is only effective for a few weeks after birth. After two months, swaddling — which inhibits movement — can restrict motor development.
3. Do not swaddle a baby in a room that’s too warm. Adjust room temperature to consider the extra warmth that comes from the swaddle blanket. Overheating a baby is a risk factor for SIDS or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
4. Some babies do not like being swaddled at all. If the swaddling makes her even more fussier, then it’s not for her. Again, be sensitive to your baby’s cues.