A list of wishes for the little people in our lives.

A new year is about to arrive. I have started to make peace with a tumultuous 2009 – a tumultuous past decade, actually. A new year always makes me think of HOPE and WISHES.  So I surveyed some of the coolest parents I know and asked them what they wished their kids should be able to do, learn or achieve in the future. Here are my top 20 picks. Hoping you will be inspired by their words….

From Mark, papa to Alec 8 and Jack 2 –
1. Sit on a beach and let the ocean’s waves lap up at your legs.
2. Help a sibling with homework.
3. Care for a pet.

Ojay, Dad to Rocco 3 and Brando 2 –
4. Travel to a place where people don’t look like you.
5. Learn to play an instrument even if you don’t dig it so much.
6. Stand up to a bully.

Rone, Mom to Gael 4 and Aiden 2 –
7. Learn to let your parents use the bathroom in peace.
8. Learn a few words in another language.

Roman, Dad to Joaquin 7 –
9. Build a Lego set on your own, and be proud of it.

Monica, Mama to Vico 5 and Patris 3 –
10. Find a passion – or two or three. It can be music, books, a sport or hobby.

Cristina, Mama to twins Matteo and Mikael 4 –
11. Swim with dolphins.
12. Save for something really awesome, and then buy it!

Jamie, Dad to Diego 2 –
13. Be amazed at your own good looks, just like Dad!
14. Explore the outdoors and discover great things even if it’s just in your backyard.

Mocs, Mom to Marco 6, Mikolo 5 and Summer 2 –
15. Sample a foreign dish you have never tried before.
16. Play under the rain!

Darcy, Mom to Jedd 12 and Euzzi 9 –
17. Know you can’t always win.

Kourtney, Mom to Emman 14, Dani 11, Noah 8, and Elijah 5 –
18. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and keep trying!

Rafael, Papa to Monina 12, Nino 5, Karina 3, and Jamal 2 –
19. Learn to be entertained with a blank piece of paper and a pencil.

And from this mama –
20. Know that you are loved!

What are your own wishes for your little ones? Whatever they may be, may your New Year wishes and hopes come true… Cheers to better times ahead, and a new year of happy memories to capture!

Look what I made!

Your kids have a good opportunity to get arts-and-crafty over the holidays. You could ask them to make their own presents for grandma and grandpa, or they could help you decorate the house and make it feel more festive.

My kids love using their hands and feel really accomplished once their work is done. And this is typical of most children. So take advantage of your child’s natural inclination to explore art materials and create, create, create! Children learn a lot from using their hands and expressing their creativity. I have a few ideas for holiday art projects you can do with your own kids.

1 to 2-Year-Olds

At about 13 months old, children are ready to explore basic art materials. For toddlers, it’s the experience of using different materials that’s important – not how “perfect” the finished product should be. But here are some art projects perfect for this stage.

Wrapping Paper – Get big cuts of craft paper, your favorite non-toxic finger paints, in Christmas red and green or white and gold, then let their little fingers make prints. Voila… their own personalized wrapping paper! This adds an extra special touch when used to wrap grandma or grandpa’s gift.

Cards and Tags – Junior Jackson Pollock or pint-size Picasso can paint to their hearts content in a piece of hard paper, cut them down to size and use as cover art for greeting cards or gift tags. You can even scan their work to make multiple copies.

3 to 5-Year-Olds

Color, texture, paint, glue, collage…. preschoolers are ready to explore some more. They are great little artists and their creativity can surprise you. Let them show their stuff with these projects:

Ornaments – Get hold of plain Christmas balls, medium to big, and let your child embellish. They can also embellish flat surface ornaments you can make on your own. Cardboard or stiff paper can be cut into tree, star or circular shapes. If you go to a craft or fabric store choose paillettes, beads, buttons and ribbons they can glue onto the plain ornaments. They’ll be so proud to see them hanging on your tree! If you’re very particular about sticking to the theme of your “perfect” tree, then get a smaller one to put in their room – one they can decorate any way they want.

Treasure Boxes – Empty egg cartons are perfect for storing small items like jewelry and other odds and ends. Let your child paint the carton, glue on shapes from construction paper or scrap wrapping sheets. These treasure boxes can make great presents for special people.

Picture Frames – These also make good presents. Cardboard can be cut into shape to insert a picture. Popsicle sticks and tongue depressors glued together also work well. For these, you can glue the picture on the back of the frame. With a bigger budget, you can get plain wooden or plastic frames too. All these can be used as a surface for your child to create 3-D collages. Get creative with them in choosing how to spruce up the frames. Along with the picture, the frame can be another great memento!

Start polishing up on politeness… especially near the Holidays.

When can we start teaching kids some manners? As soon as they can talk would be a good time. Developmentally, they may not be ready to master the entire Emily Post rule book, but there are some basics we can start teaching as early as 2 or 3 years old. At this age children can already follow directions and can tell the difference between nice and not nice… so let Etiquette 101 lessons begin.

We have a simple, doable list of manners 2-5 year olds should be able to manage. These reminders will come in extra handy over the holidays – with all the get-togethers and meeting new people. Take advantage of all those teaching moments!

The key to teaching young children manners is to keep things clear and simple. Keep your expectations in check, manners take time to learn. Be diligent with the reminders. You can start with these basics.

Saying please and thank you

Two-year olds can be taught to use these niceties, but don’t be surprised if you find you have to do a lot of reminding. In time and with regular reminders, this will become automatic. “That!” your toddler might say pointing to dessert. “You’d like more? What’s the magic word?” If she forgets the script, simply re-state and let her repeat, “May I have more please?” When someone gives her a present, always remind her “What do you say?” Thank you….

Greeting people politely

First, explain to your child that she is supposed to say hello whenever you meet people. If she’s a shy, slow-to-warm toddler then a little wave is acceptable. When your child is about 4 or older, a hello should be standard. You can even teach them to shake hands or ask “How are you?”

Being careful with their words

“Ethan’s Daddy is so small!” my son once blurted out laughing. Thank goodness not-so-tall daddy was already far enough not to hear his remark. Tact is not a strong suit of toddlers and often they don’t mean to be mean, but we have to remind them that saying such things is not proper. “Yes, he’s not as tall as Daddy but you shouldn’t say that out loud – it will hurt his feelings.” Give your child a basic rule: it’s never nice to laugh at how people look or about things they have no control over.

Behaving at the table

Staring toddler age, a child can be expected to learn some basic table manners – like not talking while their mouth is full and no playing with food. You can already teach them how to use a napkin and wipe themselves when needed. Again, gentle reminders will be needed.

If he says “yuck!” to something on the table, calmly explain that word isn’t acceptable for describing food. “What you should say is ‘no spinach for me, thank you.’ ”

Now as for staying seated at the table, toddlers are not developmentally ready to sit as long as adults. This requires patient training. At least let your child sit until he finishes his food, though he may not be able to stay until everyone is done with dinner. Try to include him in the conversation as this may get him to hang around longer.

Being a polite playmate

If there are other kids around, make it clear that they must take turns with toys, no hitting, no shouting, no strong language. Good mantras are “gentle hands” and “gentle voice” or “gentle words.”  In holiday gatherings with lots of kids plus new toys, expect that you may have to do some (or a lot!) of refereeing. On the bright side, it’s a good way to teach your little ones how to share and interact with other kids.

A fool-proof guide to age-appropriate toys and gifts.

Gift shopping for kids entails some knowledge and research. Child development experts tell us, “play is the work of children” – and this makes toy shopping serious business. The wrong toy can bore your babe if it’s too easy. Too advanced, and it can frustrate him.

Give a child the right toy and you’ll be giving him hours of fun, exploration and learning. Before you start shopping, check out our age-by-age gift guide.

Babies (0-1 year) This age is all about sensory development, particularly engaging their senses of sight, touch and hearing. Interaction with mom and dad is still the most important playtime activity. But here are a few things baby could use:

Rattles – Toys that make noise when shook, squeezed or touched; pretend keys and mobile phones that make interesting sounds or sing out abc’s and 123’s are good choices.

Mobiles – To hang on top of a crib to stimulate a baby’s sense of sight. High contrasting colors (blacks and whites) are especially good for very young babies.

Bath toys – Babies love bath time so make it more fun with toys that squeak and squeal during tub time.

Plush toys - These can be soft stuffed animals (there are hypoallergenic kinds available), plush blocks, soft stacking rings or cloth books.

Push and pull toys – These are appropriate for older babies at around 8 months, especially when they are starting to stand, cruise or maybe even walk.

Baby gyms – These are play mats with overhead rings holding different rattles or smaller toys babies can bat with their feet or their hands.

Toddlers (1-3 years) At this age, children are becoming more mobile – exploring their world more with their hands and feet. Curiosity is growing. They are also starting a language explosion so engaging them with music, books and pretend play can benefit them tremendously. Maybe they can’t count yet, but you can lay good math skills with simple puzzles, blocks and shape sorters. Here’s our list of good toddler toys:

Shape sorters

Sorting and nesting toys

Modeling clay like Play Dough

Blocks – wooden or cardboard; Lego has Duplo blocks specifically designed for toddlers’ smaller hands.

Hardback books with rounded edges

Picture books with short simple sentences in big bold letters, look for giant book versions of Dr. Seuss or Eric Carle classics.

Musical toys or toy instruments

Soft balls are good for practicing some toddler basketball, soccer or catch.

Preschoolers (4-5 years) Like toddlers, preschoolers are still curious explorers but they know more and can move around better. Though you still need to keep an eye on them. They still aren’t safety experts! Gross motor and fine motor skills are improving so choose toys that can enhance how they use their hands and bodies – just like these good preschooler gifts:

Tricycles or bicycles with training wheels

Ride-on toys like scooters and twist cars

Wooden train sets - Thomas and Friends are quite popular with this age group.

Basic musical instruments – Drums and percussion instruments are a good introduction to actual instrument play for this age group.

Simple board games like Chutes and Ladders, Cariboo, Boggle Jr., Sorry and Scrabble Junior

Costumes and accessories for pretend play

Blocks, Lego has age-by-age guides on each box set

Lacing toys and bead sets that make bracelets and necklaces are a hit with the girls.

Cooking sets and doll houses - And these aren’t just for little girls, boys can be future chefs and architects too!

Surprising suggestions for Santa and you.

With Thanksgiving just ahead, Christmas isn’t far behind. If you have kids, you would probably want to get a headstart on shopping for holiday toys. I try to get this out of the way by December to ease up on last-minute holiday stress. The toy stores get pretty busy, and I don’t like getting caught in a Christmas stampede.

A doctor and professor has some good advice on what you should be getting those tots and toddlers on your list. If you’re shopping for your own preschoolers, now is the time to set the trend for a taste in quality toys that make them play, imagine and think. Read more for our good-toy guide.

The latest, pricey “it” toy is often not the wisest choice. Dr. Paula Kramer, chair and professor of occupational therapy at University of the Sciences in Philadelphia says, “these toys may be unique and novel, but they’re not always the best choice for the child, or the toy with the longest life. If a toy is static and doesn’t promote creativity, imagination, and change, it will probably end up in the corner.”

Children below age 5 tend to enjoy simple, open-ended toys. I have seen this myself. When my son was around 3, he had gotten a Transformer robot as a gift. He was interested… for about a minute. He really couldn’t transform it from robot to vehicle. It was too advanced. What really engaged our then 3-year-old? The box it came in, which he turned into a multitude of other things.

It’s as if kids are wired to use their imagination. And we should encourage this with open-ended toys. These include building toys like MegaBlocks,  Dado cubes, pickets and classic wooden blocks. A recent good buy that my daughter and son love to “work” with for hours is the Imginarium Deluxe Building Block Set. The blocks look like multi-colored bricks. They have used these inexpensive cardboard bricks to build castles and forts that were the setting for hours of dramatic play.

“Traditional toys, such as Legos, are also great because they help build skills such as fine motor manipulation and creativity,” said Dr. Kramer. “While they come with instructions on how to build certain things, kids can choose to build anything they want.”

A simple guideline would be, if it makes them imagine different outcomes and possibilities, then it’s a good open-ended toy.

Dr. Kramer points to a new development in toy trends that is good for kids – movement-oriented toys. One example is the Fisher-Price Smart Cycle where kids have to pedal through learning discoveries, games and races. It was designed to encourage physical activity while strengthening reading and motor skills.

Like we tackled in a previous post, active kids are not just fit – they are happy and do better in school. So don’t overlook these other classic gifts: tricycles, bicycles and sports equipment. For toddlers, pretend play golf, tennis or basketball can be fun.

Another reminder from Dr. Kramer is to choose toys based on your child’s developmental stage. It should be at his current ability or slightly more challenging. Not too difficult though, or else they’ll just ignore the toy – or worse, get overly frustrated.