Exploit her interests to get her to read.

Not every kid is an eager reader. Some parents worry when their preschooler can barely even sight read three letter words while seeing kids in the same class who can devour an entire picture book all by themselves in kindergarten. Remember, children develop at various paces. If a child reads early it doesn’t mean she’s a sure shot for being a literary genius. Late bloomers can even surpass them eventually in terms of literacy skills. We have some simple suggestions that can help your reluctant reader.

Consider your child’s interests. My son loves comic books like Geronimo Stilton and the Lego Exo Force series… and that gets him reading. For my daughter, it’s picture books about princesses and fairies. Experts say, comics and light picture books should not be discouraged at all. Laura Bailet PhD heads the Division of Neurology at the Florida Nemours Children’s Clinic, according to her we should not worry that comic book or picture book texts are not substantial enough.

Dr. Bailet says, “They can play important roles in helping kids understand some fundamentals, like how events take place in a sequence and stories are laid out. They also help build vocabulary and show that books can be visually appealing. Once your child becomes comfortable with the experience of reading, you can encourage other literature selections with a variety of challenging content.”

Read it again and again… and again. You may notice if your child finally finds a book she likes, she’ll want it read to her over and over again. That’s a good thing. Repetition allows children to master the text and eventually sail through it with ease and confidence. As Dr. Bailet explains it, “Each new reading of the book may also help them understand it just a little better. That positive experience may inspire them to give new books a try.”

Create interesting reading opportunities. Give your child rewarding chances to read every day. Write notes and leave them on a pillow, in a lunchbox, or in a pocket. Ask friends and relatives to send postcards and letters. Leave magnetic letters and words on the refrigerator, and you may find her spontaneously creating words, sentences, and stories. On road trips or errands, play word games that strengthen language skills. My kids like playing “I Spy” (”I spy something that starts with an ‘a’ …”) or games where you pick a category like “food” and then everyone has to name foods that begin with a certain letter.

If you’re worried, seek help. If you’re concerned about your child’s ability or willingness to read, don’t wait. Consult with your child’s doctor or teacher. If they share your concern, they may be able to suggest resources. A friend was worried about her 5-year-old son who refused to read anything. His kindergarten teachers suggested having him assessed by a developmental pediatrician. At first, the doctor suspected visual dyslexia. Before further tests were done, a simple eye test was given. Her son just had very poor vision and needed corrective glasses.

Whatever is hindering a child’s reading efforts, there is usually a way to deal with it. Observe and act quickly because the sooner a problem is dealt with, the better. Reading is a very important foundation for lifelong learning.

More scientific research shows the power of a mother’s love.

Cuddling, talking and playing can really do wonders for children, especially for those who grow up to be in the autism spectrum. University of Miami researchers say maternal sensitivity may influence language development among children who go on to develop autism.

Daniel Messinger of the University of Miami, the principal investigator of a larger study of infants at risk for autism that includes this study, says the study examines how early parenting can promote resiliency in this population. 

”Language problems are among the most important areas to address for children with autism, because they represent a significant impairment in daily living and communication,” Messinger said in a statement.

Maternal sensitivity is defined in the study as a combination of warmth, responsiveness to the child’s needs, respect for his or her emerging independence, positive regard for the child, and maternal structuring, or how a mother engages and teaches her child.

For example, if a child is playing with colored rings, the mother might say, “This is the green ring,” thus teaching her child about his environment, Messinger says.

The study, published online ahead of print in the upcoming Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, says maternal sensitivity was more predictive of language growth among toddlers developing autism than among children who did not go on to an autism diagnosis.

I think this study also highlights how involved parenting can benefit all children — with or without autism or special needs. The language learning, the resilience and the communication skills a child gains from an engaged mother is good for any child.

More reason to read to your kids.

We all know how valuable story-telling sessions are. Reading to your young child is not just good for bonding and fun, it is also linked to better academic performance down the road. Now, researchers say reading is important for mastering language — particularly the English language.

Canadian researchers report that reading to kids is a crucial tool in English-language development, but not other languages.

The Canadian study, published in Learning and Instruction, found that a child learning to read English — an orthographically inconsistent language where letters can have more than one sound — need more help than a child learning to read in Greek — a language with one-to-one correspondence between a letter and its sounds.

“We have found that in English, you need a rich home literacy environment — reading lots of books to children,” study leader George Georgiou of University of Alberta in Edmonton said in a statement. “It’s absolutely necessary.” 

Lacking such support, English-speaking children run the risk of falling behind at least two years versus children learning to read in Greek, the researchers said.

Georgiou recommends English-speaking parents invest time in reading to their children or at least expose them to educational TV programs such as Sesame Street and multimedia tools such as spelling games.

Remember though, the multimedia tools and educational shows will only benefit children above the age of two. Before age three, reading and talking to your child is what’s best for developing language skills. Even month old babies can benefit from hearing books read to them.

Kids — what a source of much-needed laughter in our lives!

I have two preschoolers at home who are still trying to master the nuances of language, and in the process have said the most adorable things. If only I can remember every butchered phrase, mispronunciation, surprisingly sage words from the oh-so-young or words just so wrong they’re so hilarious. I have decided to keep a journal of these “isms” from my kids. For your entertainment, I’ve added other gems from my friends’ children. Enjoy and be inspired to compile your own funny quips from the young.

From Teacher J, Kindergarten teacher at my kids’ preschool…

Because most of the kids in our class are having baby siblings on the way, I asked one boy if he wanted a baby in his family too. He said “No, I’m not married.”

I wore a red scarf last December, thinking that the cold weather was a prime time to accessorize. When the kids came in, Nadia enthusiastically told me “Heeey teacher, you look like a snowman!”

When I asked the class “When a friend is sad, how can we make him happy?” One friend demonstrated gentle strokes on the shoulder to comfort a crying friend. My co-teacher Nikki asked what gentle strokes meant. 4-year old Hadrien confidently answered “Condolence!”

We were talking about how songs can affect our feelings and then we asked them for songs that make them happy when they’re feeling blue. There was a collective pause. Then, together they sang… HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

From My friend Rafael, Dad to 4 year-old Lucas…

Lucas and I were at Mass, and during consecration he asked about the host. I told him that the host was like bread, and that Jesus miraculously became the host so that he could be with us at Mass. After communion, though, he saw the host being placed and sealed into the tabernacle. With eyes wide and in alarm, Lucas whispered: “Daddy! What are they doing to Jesus? Are they baking Him?”

From Coey, Mama to 5-year-old Mateo…

My mom just passed away then and I had to process the situation with my children. One time my mother in law called me on my mobile and of course throughout the conversation, I’m calling her “Mom.” When I hung up, Mateo (who was listening all along) exclaims, ” You were talking to your mom? I thought she was dead?!?”

From Francine, Mama to 5-year-old Rafa…

When Rafa saw the fountain in hospital full of coins he said, “Quick mama, call the police, people have been littering!”

And from the two funny people at our home…

My son at age 4 says: “I’m going to Rico’s house!” His Dad: “Excuse me, you don’t just declare you’re going to Rico’s house, you ask mama or daddy permission first.” He takes a breath and says to his Dad: “May I please go to Rico’s house… Your Majesty?” Then he bows to him.

We had just moved into our new home, my daughter age 2 says of of the powder room: “Wow… this bathroom is so nice! Me: “Glad you like it! Actually, this is a washroom for our guests. This is where guests can wash their hands or use the toilet.” My Little Girl: “I like it. It’s sooo… GUESTY!”

How about you?

As Mark Twain says of the “malapropisms of childhood”… “Dear me, there’s no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again.”

So what gems have your children said? Like the wise Mr. Twain says, the days of darling malapropisms are fleeting. Write them down so you don’t forget. One day you and your kids can look back at them and have a good laugh!

Nurturing environments also nurture good readers.

Once upon a time, a controversial claim was made that you can read to your kids all you want but that won’t guarantee they will be good readers. That claim was made in 2005 in the book Freakonomics by authors Stephen J. Dubner and Steven D. Levitt. The authors said, having wealthy and educated parents is a better gauge for high literacy. Well, there’s a new study out that claims that’s only partly true.

According to a new study by Ohio University researchers, Dubner and Levitt were right about genetics playing a large part in early reading development. But if you have a preschooler that’s not too keen on reading yet… take heart. The study found that a supportive environment can help make kids better readers.

So what kind of support do children need to make them hit the books more? A supportive environment would include — surprise, surprise — good school instruction, proper nutrition, a caring home environment and parents who read to their children. Yes, all that nightly reading of Dr. Seuss and Leo Lionni are not in vain!

Study lead author Stephen Perill, a professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University explained in a university press release: “Regardless of where children start as far as reading skills, and the impact that genetics and environment had on their initial skills, we found that their environment had an impact on how fast or how slowly those reading skills developed.”

The researchers concluded that when children begin to read, both genetics and environment play a role in the development of skills, but to different degrees. In word and letter identification, environment explained about two-thirds of the test results, while genetics explained one-third. For vocabulary and sound awareness, genetics and environment had equal influence. Genetics accounted for 75 percent of results on reading speed tests.

However, when Petrill and colleagues measured the children’s growth in reading skills, environment became a much more important influence. Environment is almost completely responsible for the growth of reading skills that are taught, such as words and letters, and 80 percent responsible for growth in awareness of sounds in reading.

The study findings are published in the online edition of the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.

Teachers have known this all along. They’ve seen it in their students. Learning does begin at home and it helps tremendously when kids are stress-free, fed healthy and cared for by their moms and dads. A good school helps but a good home life also contributes to successful learners. Not much surprise there, but a reminder that a little good parenting can go a long way.

Enrich your child’s language development.

Your toddler has gone from coos and giggles to actual attempts at words. So give him a rich broth for simmering his alphabet soup of verbal exercises. Many of us know it’s good to read a lot of books to them to stimulate language. But giving him experiences — like taking him outdoors or simple play — are wonderful ways to encourage his budding language abilities.

Pay attention to his cues. See what your child is interested in and there you will find plenty of opportunity. A little nature lover might like going through the park to look at trees exclaiming Look mommy the leaves not green, they’re orange. Use this chance and respond with something like Yes, it’s autumn so the trees’ leaves change color before they fall for the winter.

If your child is interested in something, by all means stoke his curiosity. What you should avoid is foisting too much knowledge on your little one or using concepts that are beyond his comprehension. On the other hand, responding with a “yes” or a “uhumm” won’t add much to your child’s knowledge or encourage his interest.

Show your child that you are listening to — and responding to — his attempts to communicate. Avoid jumping in to correct every mispronunciation or error in grammar. For instance, my daughter once said: “Oh so many shoeses in the store!” I responded: “I can see that too. There are so many shoes.”

Give your budding talker a wider audience for his repertoire of new words. Expose him to other adults and children. Playing with other kids stimulates language skills, especially if he has no verbal siblings to vocalize with.

Nursery rhymes and sing-along songs that introduce simple concepts and repeat key phrases, like “Old MacDonald’s Farm,” can also help to enrich your child’s vocabulary. As she nears age 3, you can start to play guessing games such as “Who am I?” In this game, one person says, for example, “I live on a farm. I’m black and white, or maybe brown, and I make milk and eat grass. Who am I?

So just talk to your toddler, ask him questions… challenge him a bit. Enjoying small talk and conversations with him is great for his language development.

Affectionate mommy, smart baby.

Cuddle time with your baby is fun for a reason. Many reasons, actually – and not just for bonding. The back and forth smiles and funny faces, the frowns, the giggles and loving touches from you are crucial in developing your child’s intelligence, communication skills and a positive sense of self. Experts tell us why.

At about one or two months old, you will realize that your baby has fallen in love with you. She responds to your voice by excitedly turning her head when she hears it.  She may only prefer daddy or mommy to carry her. She’ll look longingly into your eyes, like she doesn’t with anyone else. After a feeding, I recall my own babies would flash me what seemed to be a thank you smile, as if saying, “thanks for breakfast mom!”

By smiling back and responding with my voice to those gestures, experts explain that I was laying the groundwork for my months-old babies’ language skills.

Most parents assume that baby’s first spoken words are what signals language development. In fact, it is those preverbal gestures which start to reveal the growing ability to communicate. When we respond to those gestures, we nurture important aspects of their personality.

Responding to coos and cries builds self-esteem by welcoming baby’s attempts to express her needs. You are also showing how feelings can be part of a dialogue. By fostering this ability to read another person’s gestures and body language, you help him tap into some primal survival skills.

Sharpening these skills at the baby-age can help your child become more attentive and cooperative when she reaches school-age. A child who reads nonverbal cues well can sense when a classmate’s interest is wandering or when teacher is losing patience. Such a child can understand changes in vocal tones and speech patterns and make astute judgements about what she sees and hears.

Making baby feel secure and loved also builds intelligence. By responding to her signals, you give meaning to her experiences. You are letting her know that her actions have an impact. Her mind is going, “So when I do this, she does that. There is a purpose in doing things. The world is logical!”

Playing with your child and responding lovingly to her are the first steps toward creative and rational thinking. Give-and-take games help her grow more physically coordinated as well. While you are rolling that ball back and forth to each other, she’s learning that looking, listening, and reaching can all work together. Games of peek-a-boo teach her object-permanence – that mom can be gone now, but will come back later. By simply enjoying playtime with your baby, you are teaching her to use her body and exercise her mind.

See? Love is powerful in many ways!

Let it run wild!

My son runs around and spends hours at a time as Superman or a T Rex. Sometimes he is Michael Jackson or a member of super rock group Queen. My daughter has several costume changes throughout the day as she goes from cheerleader, to princess, to rock star. Laundry is more work than usual, but I give in because….

Kids are hardwired to be imaginative, and the fantasies start exploding when they reach the toddler years. If you have a toddler or preschooler at home, you may find yourself being invited into their make-believe world. Just the other day I was a client in my daughter’s hair salon! Starting age 2, a child’s imagination starts to evolve, along with the increasing ability for abstract thinking. Experts advice us to support this aspect of their development.

Give their budding imagination a little push by joining in the fun. If he invites you into his imaginary world… go! Getting in the act is a great way to see how his mind works. You will also be able to learn more about how he sees his world.

An active imagination is something to embrace. And it’s more than just cute, it’s a great way to foster your child’s intellectual, emotional and social development. Experts tell us, pretend play or imaginative play nurtures the following:

Good vocabulary. Those fantasy stories are expressed with words. Books and your own stories inspire scenarios in his mind – and he has to use the words he learns, to express his own unique ideas.

Self control. As your toddler or preschooler takes on a role, he gets to practice how to handle situations to achieve his own goals. To do this he needs to master self-motivation and self control.

Socialization. If he engages in imaginative play with others, he learns that he needs to do things like being nice and waiting his turn or help others so they can accomplish what they set out to do.

Problem solving. A study at Case Western Reserve University found that young children who are imaginative tend to remain so as they get older. These same kids become better problem solvers. Tested later in life, highly imaginative kids were more resourceful when it came to coping with challenges and difficult situations, such as what to do if they forgot to bring a book to school they needed that day.

So how do we nurture imagination? Talk to your kids, read to them, take them to new places and share new experiences. It would be good to expose them to the outdoors, music, museums and other people.

One thing to limit is television. Screen media provides passive stimulation, meaning it does the thinking and imagining for your child. A little quality, age-appropriate TV or movies is fine, but the American Academy of Pediatrics says these should be limited to no more than 2 hours per day.

You should also allow your child to get bored sometimes. Yes, boredom can be good! Sometimes, well-meaning parents think their kids have to be engaged and happy every waking hour. Kids need downtime from activity too. It allows for some reflective thinking and let’s them find ways to get themselves busy. Now that requires a lot of creativity!

Not talking yet?

Talking is a major milestone many parents anticipate. Nothing like hearing them utter the first “mama” or “dada” or having your first true exchange of words complete with those cute toddler mishaps like “Pooh eated all the honey!” Early talking has also been linked to better reading and writing skills in the future. And tantrums do tend to lessen when a child is better able to express himself.

When a child is possibly lagging in speech, well-meaning family, friends, even doctors  could tell you not to be concerned. They can say things like, “uncle Joe didn’t speak until he was 4 and he’s fine.” So you brush away your concerns and do nothing. Experts caution against taking the wait-and-see approach when it comes to your child’s speech development. If you suspect something isn’t right, trust your instincts.

Dr. Marilyn Agin is one of the authors of the new book The Late Talker: What to do if Your Child Isn’t Talking Yet. She explains that most late-talkers do eventually catch up with their chattier peers. However, a recent study shows that over 7% of 5-year-olds will end up not out-growing their speech problems before they start school.

Dr. Agin, who is a neurodevelopmental pediatrician and medical director of the Early Intervention Program in New York City says, for this 7% of kids, the consequences of late intervention can be grave. She adds, “I’ve seen children as young as 3 who are self-conscious about their speech, which can lead to low self-esteem.” From here, the problem could snowball and stall language development even more.

Besides the self-esteem issue, a speech delay could also be a symptom of other problems – from autism to many other learning disabilities. If any of these are the case, early intervention can make a world of difference in helping your child.

Dr. Agin lists some warning signs in her book. Seek medical advice if you notice any of the following:

• By 9 months, your infant has yet to babble or she babbles with few or no consonant sounds.
• By 12 months, your baby looks at something he wants but does not use gestures, like pointing, to show you what he desires.
• By 16 months, you still haven’t heard your child’s first words.
• By 24 to 30 months, your child has yet to speak in two-word phrases (like “more cookie”).
• By 36 months, your child says only single-syllable words with no final consonants (”ca” for cat, “beh” for bed). She also doesn’t ask questions and has frequent tantrums when not understood.

“You know your child best,” says Dr. Agin. “If, deep down, you suspect there’s something wrong with your child and you’re not satisfied with the response from your pediatrician, make an appointment with a speech pathologist or a neurodevelopmental pediatrician.” In most states, local counties run free early intervention program for kids below age 3.

In the end, it’s likely your child will outgrow the speech delay. But taking some tests won’t do any harm and will give you peace of mind. If in case there’s a problem causing the speech delay, taking these steps to have your child assessed early can ensure the problem won’t become worse – or irreversible. Many learning disabilities can be overcome if addressed soon enough. Better safe than sorry!

Encourage your toddler to play alone.

Toddlers will always want mommy or daddy to play with, and we should oblige. Playing with your child is great for fun, bonding and learning. But we should also encourage solo play.

For a few minutes every day, children should be able to play as they please, left to their own imagination. And this isn’t good just so you can fix dinner. Independent play builds well… independence, along with creativity and self-confidence.

I would often catch my daughter talking to herself and her dolls, when engaged in solo play. Sometimes she is mimicking lines from her favorite books. Many times she is creating her own scenarios. Experts tell us, this kind of symbolic play boosts a child’s language skills. Read more for advice on how to tap into the power of independent play.

Start your child young. Even as babies, give them a few minutes at a time to explore their play mat or baby gym, without direction from you. In a crib or play pen, babies can be left alone with a favorite toy or two. Throw in a book they like flipping through. For their safety, you will have to be nearby, but don’t hover.

As your child turns from baby to toddler, solo play periods should get longer. However, about 15 minutes at a time is about the longest you can expect a typical one-year-old to play alone.

Experts remind us that temperament and age determine a child’s inclination for independent play. It’s important to note that you cannot count on an older toddler playing alone for longer periods than a younger one. A 22-month-old child has more developed cognitive and language abilities, but her desire for independence is also increasing – so she is more likely to test limits and require supervision.

When you put your child down for some me-time-playtime, you should also make sure she is not hungry, tired or sick. An ideal time would be when they are in a good mood, maybe after lunch or a bath.

Solo Play Starters

Although you are leaving your child to her own imagination, you still need to set things up. First, give your child access to objects that interest her. At my office at home, my desk has two drawers filled with paper, child-safe scissors, old cards, ribbons and random knicks-knacks and toys my toddler is allowed to go through. She often likes to “just stay beside mama” while I work. While I get my writing done, she gets some solo play time, after deciding which things to play with from her very own “work drawer”.

Wherever you set up playtime, be it playroom or elsewhere, make sure you are within earshot and eye distance. Toddlers are far from being safety experts!

You will also need to put some structure, by providing only a few toys at a time. Being surrounded by heaps of favorite toys is overwhelming. Since you are nearby, you will also have to re-engage your child after she loses interest. For instance, when I see my daughter’s block structure, I’d prompt her to extend her activity by asking “Do you want to build a school beside it?” Or sometimes, “Oh you used 3 blocks to build the tower… Can you build one with 5 blocks?”  This usually encourages her to continue playing.

Claire Lerner, child-development specialist at Zero to Three, has some extra advice. “The key is to increase the time incrementally so your toddler gets used to the routine. Your initial attempts may yield only a few minutes before your toddler clamors for you. Don’t respond instantly. Give her a chance to work things out by herself.”

Because once in a while, your child needs to lose herself in a world of play. As they say, play is the work of children.